The World Froze

"It's ok, you don't have to love me," he whispered to me the first time we kissed.

I hadn't loved him, not really, even when he pressed me against the wall and kissed me into tomorrow. I hadn't loved him.

He was handsome, and daring, and cute, and kind, but when he looked at me across the room during class my heart hadn't started to race. When he smiled, my room didn't light up with joy. When we kissed, I didn't want time to stop.

Don't get me wrong, I like--liked him.

When he brough me to visit his parents, I was hesitant. I didn't want him to getting ideas. But, just as he knocked on the door he murmmered into my ear:

"It's ok, you don't have to love me."

I smiled, it was comforting.

"... But I love you," he said, breath hot against my skin.

He must have seen it that night: the widening of my eyes, the stiffness of my jaw. But, that didn't stop him. He kept kissing me. He kept smiling. He kept loving me.

Before we knew it, it was summer again and another year of school was done. He was going abroad to NYC. He offered me the extra plane ticket. I was hesitant, I didn't like New York, or crowded cities, or tall buildings. I liked the blue sky and the endless fields. I declined. He only smiled and promised to call me when the plane landed.

I drove him to the airport, feeling guilty. I was sure that he was mad, despite the smile. So I formed a plan, when he got out of the car I would say it... the words I had been dreading to say to anyone.

Finally we were here. Everything was in slow motion: the opening of my door, the opening of his door, the loving embrace, the lugging of bags upstairs, the elevator, the final kiss, and then...

"I--" the words choked in my mouth. I tried again, "I lo--"

His eyes were wide, the smile gone from his lips.

I swallowed, "I lov--" but the words died again.

I gave him a sorrowful smile, which he returned with a happier smile then I'd ever seen him wear. He pressed his lips to mine, mouth coaxing, and still smiling. He broke apart with a gasp, I couldn't understand. I hadn't been able to.

"It's ok, you don't have to love me."

"But... I--"

"It's ok, you are enough. You don't have to love me."

So, I believed him. I waved him off, marched down the stairs alone, drove home, and watched Netflix. The hours ticked away along with the sun. By the time, the moon had risen I checked my phone. Nothing.

I ignored the hesitance inside my gut. Maybe the flight was delayed? Though, I wanted to be awake when he called, I was getting tired and had plans tomorrow so I fell into a restless sleep.

The morning came too fast.

I checked my phone: nothing. It was unerving. He never forgot to call me, even when he was tired, it was why I adored him. Pushing away the churning of my stomach, I settled onto the couch, flicking on the News.

"Just in... there was a shooting in... New York late last night."

The world froze.

His last words: It's ok, you don't have to love me.

But, I had.

#Imsorry #Sad #death #love #It'sok,youdon'thavetoloveme. #challenge #lovers #kissing #NYC #loving