Open the letter, dumbass.

I love how much of a bitch you are right now.

Something you need to know immediately: you’re not special. Stop thinking you’re above everyone, you pretentious shit. Being different is great, but you’re trying too hard.

I know you like making life hard, and you say you enjoy stress, but those things come out of your mouth because you were spoon fed since birth. Wait a few more years, shits about to get real. You’ll be addicted to crying (the part where you quietly sniffle towards the end is your favorite), suicide becomes an option ( your 2nd attempt is the funniest), but when you come across the secret to living a decent life, you’ll be fine.

A few things:

Stop buying lottery tickets; you have a better chance of dying choking on your breakfast.

You’re in a relationship, right? She cheats on you, bud.

Stop being so nosy. Peoples lives are boring, just like yours.

Apologize for the shit you’ve done, even if you don’t want to. Stop your addictions now, even if you don’t think its possible. And tell your dad you love him before he’s gone, even if you don’t understand it.

Live longer than me, punk.