Loss of my first Love

J.R (Corcillum) March 20, 2002 - April 4, 2019

When you fall in love,

For the first time,

You don’t think you’d loose them.

You don’t think you’d loose them,

In such a permanent way.

I sit up at 3:30am,

Rivers running down my face making oceans upon my pillow.

Thursday April 4, 2019 was the last day you took your last breath,

It was the day I felt my heart crumble into pieces.

You once wrote a poem about how you were sober of love for 16 years of your life,

Then you met me and you got addicted to how my lips took yours.

I feel my body and mind going through this withdrawal,

I took your addiction and made it mine.

We had the world at our feet,

We fought demons together.

Your demons were just too strong,

This cruel world was too hard for you.

The pain was too much,

So on March 1, 2019 you took your life.

You laid in the hospital bed for 33 days,

Your body fighting to survive.

But

You were tired of fighting,

Your mind and body just didn’t have the strength to fight.

I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to save you.

-there isn’t a specific day that I fell in love with you but I know that I’ll never love someone the way I loved you. You taught me life, beauty, and love. You blessed me and my world. I still pray to see you in my dreams. But till the day we meet again I’ll hold you in my heart and remember your smile and laugh with every morning I wake. <3