Morning Traffic Report

"Damn, late." Mark flicked his watch, swore at the black leather motorcyclist, bobbing about his car and stared down the long crowded road. No way would he cut through the parking-lot ahead. Why didn't he leave earlier. Oh yeah, Tina needed that extra past on her head. Another morning temper-tantrum, interrupting his path out the door. Bozo broke his leash, chasing the neighbor's cat up a tree. The cat was okay, snarling and spitting from its safe perch. Bozo with his insistant third-degree murder yapping, had killed the neighbor's prize tulips and was now raising the loud alarm for police intervention. The neighbor snapped up his window in an angry bang to shout profanities at the loose dog.

Mark obligingly climbed over the fence, tearing his suit trousers on a ragged nail jutting from a post. He felt the cool air tickle his thigh as the cloth gave way in a tender rip. Effing dog, why didn't Sally take him out in the morning. It was her dog anyway, and he hated scruffy mutts like yapping terriers. Why couldn't she have something real? Like a noble Doberman. Dobermans didn't behave like that. They had class and intelligence and a sense of dignity.

The light turned yellow, he gunned the intersection and felt a heavy thud. Batman flew away on his classy shiny black Harley, weaving through the packed cars ahead: an eel in a sardine tin.

The car lurched as Mark shut off the engine. What next? The traffic light dangled overhead, now screaming red. Angry faces surrounded the driver's window as fists pounded on it.

"Get out," shouted a voice.

Mark stared at the intersection, sighed and looked at his watch. All hell would break lose now. Torn trousers. Damn the dog. He checked his watch, picked up his mobile, "I'm late."

Thud.

One moment she was walking and the next thud. Even witches had broomsticks. Angels fly. Did she sprout wings? No. Test the legs. Can they move? Legs, where are you. Brain connect to legs. She twitched, rubbed her toe against the pavement. That's good. Where the hell was she? This wasn't no bed of feathers. Cautiously she turned her head, spread-eagled on the ground with her arms outstretched to eternity. Where were the damn glasses? She couldln't see without them. Could somebody just please help her find the damn glasses?

Could she move? Man that hurt. Slowly she focused on the level world about her. What happened?

"Hilfe mir!" she squeaked in an ineffective choke, so she squawked a bit louder like a chicken on it's way through the processor. "Hilfe mir!" Still weak. Nothing happened. No magic fairy dust or fairy godmother appeared. Slowly, she rolled over, dragging her leg over her side. Now to get up. How? She couldn't remember. It was so long ago that she learned to crawl that she couldn't remember how to stand.

What was she doing on the ground?

Where was she?

Why the hell ws she speaking German?

Where were the damn glasses. She couldn't even go to the toilet without the glases. Without them how could she get a proper perspective on the thing.

A pair of long legs towered over her. "Ma'am, you've been hit, but you flew like an angel. But Lordy knows, this aint heaven. "

That was useful information. At least it explained the horizontal position.

"Where am I?"

"Right square plop in the center of Fourth and Pine."

"That's nice. Can you find my glasses? I can't see without them. Be nice to get a little view on this little matter."

The long legs trundled away and obligingly returned. A long arm reached down and placed the spectacles in her outreached hand. "There you are, ma'am."

Sure enough, the glasses helped.

"Can you help me get up?" she asked tentatively. "I don't seem to remember how to sit up any longer? It's like I can't remember where my legs are."

"Well, they're still attached to you. You did a beautiful dive that shoulda taken the Olympic Gold," the gruff voice answered. The knees slowly bent into creases like a construction crane lowering its platform.

"You could use some help for sure." A friendly face lowered to her level and large hands brushed over her head carefully. "Let's just do things slowly. You think you can sit up?"

"Yes… but I don't remember how?"

"That's okay. I think I can help you there."

"We just do it very slowly 'cuz nobody know where you been hurt."

Janet struggled and grasped the man's arms as he lifted her to a sitting position. She struggled to knees to stand.

"You wanna stand?"

"Yes, " Janet replied. It's not normal to lay in the street. Isn't it better to be on the sidewalk? Isn't that where I should be?"

"Well, yes, Normally, but this aint no-ways normal."

"What happened?"

"Dunno. This here red Ferrari was making fast moves and driving like Batman. Done run you down. Guess he was talking on the phone or godwhat, but you got lucky. That car so low on the ground, it just done sweep you off your feet like a Fred Astaire move on the dance floor."

Where the hell were her shoes? What was she doing walking about town in her bare feet?

"Better be careful here, there's some splattered bits of glass."

"Hey dude, can you find this lady's shoes?"

"Now you just be still. You're a wee bit tottery. I'll hold you a bit while you get used to those stems you're standing on."

"You're a bit twirly, there. Only the top of the Space Needle goes in whirls. We'd better get you to the side and set you down. You aint stable nohow."

Janet obliged. Nothing to do but stumble along with the big man who was holding her up. Where the hell was her purse?

"Just take it slowly. That's it. one little step at a time. Doing good. You're one tough lady. Even Wonder Woman couldn't fly like that."

"That's it. Take it slow. I aint going nowhere for a while."

"You remember anything?"

Janet shook her head.

"Wasn't the light green?" she asked meekly?

"Yup, it was."

"Did I have a briefcase?"

"Yup, we'll find it. Might be under the car."

"Anything else you remember?"

"Just thud."

"Well, that happened, too. Thud."

"You remember anything before it?"

"No, not much. Only I was supposed to be at work."

"So was I," the black man replied. "So was I. And a bunch of other folks. Now they're all waiting for the cops to come to make their report and clean up the intersection and all that."

"Oh," said Janet, suddenly exhausted from everything. "I suppose I should sit down again."

"And that's all you remember? Just thud?"

"Thud," said Janet and sank to the ground. "Thud."