Dysfunctional Solitude

   The night's humidity nullifies any thankfulness at the absence of the sun, since its sweltering heat stills lingers in the late July air. Just a few measly degrees less than what it was prior, doesn't offer much solace. Lying in this bed, sweaty and broken, too fatigued to muster enough strength to walk to the icebox for liquid reprieve, the minutes waste away second by second by hourglass-grain-of-sand second. Your hair and skin is damp, yet your mouth is dry as brittle chalk and the constant ticking from the chain on the ceiling fan is the only note you can sense to its effect. Competing with the infuriating ticking is the ever-present buzzing of not too distant fly, whizzing about, seemingly attracted to the sour odor this room festers. Though entangled in such a miserable mind altering mangled actuality, you are lucky to be alive. The accident of burning twisted metal that landed you bedridden and wasting away, the results being mathematical with the addition of titanium rods in your leg and the subtraction of a few feet of your intestinal tract, almost killed you. The impact of your skull on the windshield has left you with bouts of migraine headaches that would debilitate a healthy person, let alone a newly mangled cripple and your mental state at times, becomes distressing with the nightly reenactments of the crash when you fall asleep. You wish you could will yourself to get up and shake off this weighted suit of injury, suffering and impairment. All things considered, tonight truly sucks. The psychological anguish leads to a rotting negativity not easily overcome.

     The next morning and the subtle light of the dawning sun fades the notice of the neon vacancy sign from the motel across the street. A sparse recognition of movement is developing from the early morning commuters and it is slowly emanating. Today is a new day. You didn't check out yesterday so that means today is another chance to get better, to get status quo. You don't need to reinvent the wheel as far a rehabilitation is concerned. You are a survivor after all, you just need to be able to, function.