It’s always nights turning into mornings that make me the most sick

The most unsettled

And I love and hate these nights because I have always had a tendency of letting my pain consume me

But this time is different

Because there’s parts of me fighting back

And I am at a war in my heart and mind

As I lose sleep and can’t eat

And fight the creeping thoughts that attempt to pull me under

I always go under

But the water is less deep this time and I can touch

Making a breakthrough