RIP

The funeral

I recently attended

Filled me with so much emotion

It seems like yesterday

Everything was fine

I tend to forget that life

Can change in a moment

Choices we make have

A butterfly effect

A pebble being dropped

Into a calm lake

Creates ripples that eventually

Reach the shore

The service was small

Close family and friends

Overall the feeling

Of interactions between guests

Was slightly awkward

I sat in the very last row

Trying to pay my respects

Without being noticed

I’m not quite sure

How I feel about

The sudden loss

It could of been prevented

Proper preparation

Prevents poor performance

For now I’m choosing

To stifle the pain

It’s just me

Myself and I

I can’t rely on anyone

To be there

Nor can I openly share

Without fear of rejection

Plus I’m angry

Why be so selfish?

To a selfless person

It’s a hard thing to grasp

I can’t wrap my brain

Around the behaviors

Of other people

Even if I perceive there feelings

The way I do

It still always shocks me

Nothing can truly prepare you

When it was time to say goodbye

I walked slowly towards the casket

Dragging my feet

This is the part that’s never easy

Good byes are the hardest

I feel like a little kid

So small and vulnerable

No matter what

I have to be okay

Reaching the casket

I look down

To see my relationship staring

Back at me