Destructive

self-loathing, depleted, hatred, and lack of endearment

I meant the best but what I did was the worst,

my words were violent, shrill wales instead of soft silent calls for help,

my moments were fading slowly and instead of helping I made things fade inside,

I gouged out my eyes trying to fall asleep at night.

silent cries for help

I cried,

know you're not asleep

know you're not alone,

I'll remind you I'm not away, and if I fail you at least I tried. my cries are not worry or pity for you they're hatred for me.

I hope one day you see what I see

through the eyes of the eyes, you do not love.

love me hate me,

meet me leave me,

cycles on rewind

cycles on repeat.

the devil hides in between the cracks that form from the line between your face,

love me hate me

meet me leave me,

cycles on rewind

cycles on repeat.

never ending but always repeating

my self destructing tendencies never seem to fade.