Identity

I am a good man. It is who I am. All my life, my decisions are primarily based on one simple question: What is the right thing to do? My reputation is the essence of my being. Without it, I cannot be the best person I know I can be. Those who know me know I am honorable and trustworthy. Someone who can be trusted to keep his word and other people’s secrets. Many opportunities which would have advanced my income, status, and potential throughout my life presented themselves. The ones that felt right, I took. The ones which were wrong for me or asked me to forsake my integrity, I passed.

My definitive quality is now under attack. A false accusation from an underage girl has brought my character under scrutiny of investigators and worse: public opinion. I have done nothing untoward to this individual warranting this attack. My family and I believe it to be an unscrupulous attempt by her parents to extort money from us. I am not a rich man and cannot afford to pay what they demand to settle out of court. The lawyer assigned to me is barely worth the cost the court charges me for him to file papers. The options he suggests are to make plea deal for probation or go to trial.

The first means I lie and say I am guilty of that of which I am accused. It is the least time consuming and inexpensive route. It would make me a felon. My name placed on lists. My memberships with charitable organizations in which I am active will be revoked. It is already bad enough that the local rumor mill has caught wind of the investigation. Leaving the house now means enduring the awkward stares of neighbors a few doors down who never made the time to even say hello all the years we lived here. We might have to move somewhere else to start fresh. Uprooted. Most of all, would be guilty of perpetuating a falsehood. I would no longer be the man I am today in everyone’s eyes, including my own.

To properly defend my core beliefs, to preserve the vital essence of myself through the court process, would be even more expensive than to give in to the demands of these parasites. They know it. That is how they operate. They know I am a good man. They know that it is my identity at stake. They know my character will be destroyed. They do not care but for themselves. My family will suffer as we are made destitute to feed their greed. A long trial will be made public. Consumers of social media will make their uninformed judgements long before the official proceedings are completed. Yes, the opinions of strangers should not matter, but I fear that a small portion of those strangers will take it upon themselves to harass and disrupt my life and those closest to me.

All the choices before me are undesirable. No matter the decision, I stand to lose substantially. Should I minimize the financial damage and inconvenience to my family and friends at the cost of my integrity and status among my extended community? Or is it worth the risk to suffer the pillory of public indignation and rely upon the potential support and charity of others to tide us through the legal processes which has no assurances that this matter will be resolved favorably?

So, I ask one more time: what is the right thing to do?