What Do I Write? (Maius MMXiX)
May 11, 2019, 1:35am
The light from the blank page on my monitor cast a pale bluish glow across the bare white walls of my office. My girlfriend fell asleep on the couch a few minutes ago watching another documentary on Netflix – she’s cute like that. And I have my favorite music blasting through my headphones to drown out all the other distractions of the outside world. Now, what I am going to write?
Hmmm, that’s an interesting idea. I think… Well, maybe not… On second thought, that idea sounds boring. But all my ideas sound boring to me. And if I find my ideas and writing dull, why would anyone else be interested in reading my stuff? Or would they?
Sometimes I think I’m a decent writer. At least I can put together sentences into paragraphs that progress from point A to point B with some cohesiveness. But who wants to read my stories. I find it hard to believe I’ve got any interesting tales to tell. Well, I suppose I’ll never know if I don’t try. So then, what do I write?
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May 11, 2019, 2:41am
I just wrote almost a whole page about something that sounded like a good idea in my head. But then I read what I’d written and deleted it all. The writing sounded tedious, and the idea seemed lame after I finished reading it.
If only some people read my writing and told me they liked it and wanted to read more. It would be a kick-in-the-ass boost of self-confidence to have fans of my writing that followed my work. Fans who read everything I wrote because they liked me.
Yes, I can make that happen. I can do it. Let’s get started. Now, what do I write?
Wait…
What if people don’t like me? Well, I guess that would just confirm what I already believe – no one is interested in reading my stories. That might be a good thing to know though. Then I could quit spending so much time “writing” and do more productive things, like change the oil in the car.
Why is there a cat calendar from 2016 hanging on the wall in here? How have I not noticed it hanging there behind the door all this time? Curious…
Focus! What am I going to write?
Oh great, now I’m drawing a total blank.
I guess it’s just as well, all the ideas I’ve had so far weren’t very good. Never mind, this is a waste. No one wants to read what I write anyway. My ideas aren’t that interesting and my writing isn’t that good. Besides, I need to get up early in the morning and do something constructive, like mow the lawn.