A Night of Learning

“Come with me.”

That’s what he whispered to me that night,

The night when my world was falling apart.

He offered an escape.

When everyone else

Dug their claws into me,

Dragging me down,

He held out his hand,

Willing me to take it.

And I wanted to.

Oh God, did I want to.

Yet, I knew if I tried escaping now,

All I would do was run.

I would run as far away and as fast as possible.

Never looking back.

Never processing what happened.

Never working through the pain.

The escape he offered was more an instant gratification,

Something to keep myself from feeling.

But...

It would only be temporary.

I could keep running.

Away with him,

Then away from him.

Away from my old life,

Never claiming it as my own.

I would leave it behind,

Talk about it like some fictional story,

A nightmare that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

No matter how much I wanted to leave now,

I knew I couldn’t.

So, I don’t take his hand.

He nods,

As if in understanding,

Then leaves me behind.

I do the best I can for myself,

Even if I don’t realize it at the time.

But at some point,

I will look back,

And I will know,

That I did the best I could with the cards I was dealt.

I will realize I stayed true to myself,

Even if it was painful,

So that I could learn and become better.

Because that is what I must do, now and forever.

Til the end.