paint can

I'm so goddamn sick of being black and blue I'm through it's time to lay down a new coat of paint something the rain won't penetrate I'm no bedroom wall my skin is being berated by hurricanes I am a lighthouse with a fear for waves I am the survivor and I am the storm pick up your feet don't wander you've got to run if you're looking for anything but comfort let's move on let's take another road maybe the one with pot holes so you don't fall asleep maybe the one with gravel so you're numb once we get through let's go let's get there let's leave here I can't breathe beneath the sheets it's suffocating please keep reading have you ever had that feeling like maybe you're making a mistake but you keep right on reeling with someday and too soon and take two

I never wanted to fall apart all I ever wanted to be was art all we ever needed was a brand new start and how can I be proud of these walls when it's coated in chipped paint and water stains from when heartbreak leaked in through the roof it's just proof I'm no longer pure how could you tell me to just keep going when there's no where to get to how could you

here we go and there we went and do you wanna go again we used to be breathless we used to know butterflies but they've flown and we've grown and what's the use of crying over cartons of spilled secrets when everyone could see through me anyways I want to remember what it is to be new what it is to meet you what it is to be blue like the sky like your eyes like everything you never knew

and I might be a mystery but my heart has always been on my sleeve all you've got to do is dig through a few layers of cellophane to touch the rotting remains of feelings I now fake my life is in refrain my mind is down the drain

I buried my blades I flushed the pain that doesn't mean I don't remember how it was to rain saltwater what it means to bleed rivers how it feels to swallow smog and sewage what it is to slip on your own spewage

look away saving face saving grace

I just need a new layer of paint

pale blue like you were under the moon pale blue like I was under you pale blue like we were in the morning dew new fly flew

just let me cover up my bruises

don't give me grief as I touch up my smudges because I never asked to be imperfect all I ever wanted was blending and if you have the beauty to judge me then good for you how about a hand

how about a leg

let's remember we were only ever here to surrender and as I recall you arrived prepared to fail but somewhere you lost your brush lost your touch

grab a roller and let's get going

these walls won't paint themselves