What doesnt kill you

what do i do

when the brain falls short

it doesn’t do what i command

it doesn’t work like it should

like a machine with a missing (or an extra) screw

when the mouth speaks too much

and any attempt at controlling it is to no avail

the tongue slips uncontrollably

damaging here and damaging there

when the hands stop producing

and tremble with fright, the more you order them not to

the never straight line that you excel at

and every time, redo, redo redo

what do i do

when the eyes look away

from that which i deny

and lids close quickly before

being obliged to acknowledge the disaster

when the feet move counterwise

dividing your heart in two

do i want to move towards

or away from what is making me stronger?

when the two pieces of your heart

don’t want to join in unison

they just stay enemies, victimising

their host, their support, my body

my body is not mine

it has a mind, a soul of its own

not even my own body needs me to thrive.

It has a new master now

controlling and thrashing about

all the fortresses and empires i built over the years.

my work, my life, my pride,

all crumbling down like nothing.