liar liar liar

jesus christ i have too many secrets to fill up this page, but i can’t even admit them to myself, let alone this traceable ip adress. i can only let go of the silly details, the terribly-horendous ones that nobody would blink at.

secret 1: i blame my mother, i blame my ex-bestfriend, i blame my sibling.

secret 2: sometimes my anxiety gets so bad my heart beats out of my chest and i’m shaking and all i want to do is let is fucking bleed out of my body.

secret 3: i don’t feel like a survivor. i don’t think anything really bad happened. everyone is out here saying i’m special because i’m alive, or whatever, and here i am, throwing that away in the name of vanity.

secret 4: i keep all my feelings locked in my chest. i won’t let you know how i’m feeling, i won’t let you in, because you haven’t hurt me.

secret 5: goddamn, i feel like people are constantly watching me, constantly judging.

secret 6: if you decode these, i won’t tell you if it’s true.