Whiskey Connoisseur // Hell-Fire & Molasses

I float,

lifted

out of myself;

I tingle,

freed

of physical body's bondage;

Vision goes dark,

ears falling silent,

released

from ever-swirling external clutter, stress, provocation.

Sadly, such a flawed strategy.

Numbness

empties me

of thought,

of experiences,

myself.

Numbness

blocks me

from ideas,

from emotions,

myself.

This measure, protective,

developed to

wrap me

in comfort, a cocoon of plush cotton;

swaddle me

in security and safety.

This measure, protective

also

robs identity,

strips control,

hides self from self.

Like floating

through hell-fire and molasses,

slowly trudging

through time-

unable to escape

the burning,

the smoldering,

the smoke and haze.

Despite

the cocoon's ease,

the swaddle's relief,

a realization builds within

...

As through hell-fire and molasses

I float,

pulled along by formidable force unseen,

time passes;

life all-around continues;

my own becomes history.

#poetry #personal #emotional #mentalhealth #mentalillness #dissociation #ptsd #survivor #journey