Help

What is happening? Why am I scared? Why are you sad? No, you're not sad, I'm sad. Wait, no, that's not right. What's going on? What are we doing? Who are we talking to? No, hold up. Why am I saying 'We'? No, that's not right, this isn't right. Is it? I don't know. But do I? Do I know and just can't remember? Am I here right now? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I forgot. I didn't know. Aren't these just excuses? No, I'm telling the truth. At least, I say what I know-feel-think to be the truth. Am I wrong? Please tell me if I am. I'm sorry. Stop, I'm not sorry for being who I am. Why should I be? But should I be? No, I shouldn't. Tell me, what do I say? What do I do? You don't have to. Ignore me, listen to me but ignore me. Don't tell me what to do. Tell me how I should do it. Nobody wants to listen, they ditch me. That's not true, I was being rude. I shouldn't talk so much. Why do I talk so much?! Stop it, stop it! Let them speak too! You say not to do this yet do it yourself. What's wrong with you?! I do the same! I talk to myself. This paragraph is me talking to myself. Or is it what my friends and family think? What my classmates and teachers think? No, it's me. Right? I don't know. I know things but I don't. I know how to do it but I can't. Why can't I? Why am I rambling? Stop rambling. It annoys your family. Mom, dad, sisters, brother, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, classmates, teachers, even your therapist. You annoy them. NO I DON'T!!! I don't, I'm not, it's not true!!! ..... Isn't it though? No, no it isn't. Stop being depressed. Don't lose hope. Why do you always write stuff, that's supposed to be short, long? Why are you so arrogant yet scold your sister for being so? How are you such a good liar yet can't hide your emotions? Why do you subconsciously beg for attention yet get shy or scared when they give it to you? Why do you feel lonely but want everyone to go away? Why? WHy? WHY? WHY?!

(This is just my ramblings and inner thoughts. Pls know that I'm okay. Sorry for bothering you!)