I know.

For a person to be so full of life and young, death is always heavy on my mind. Why am I not dead? I really want to die. Who ultimately chooses who dies or lives? Why did the people who've already died been lucky enough to live and leave?

Very few understand the differences between positivity andf optimism. Positivity is a perspective not an emotion or addiction. Just simply a viewpoint.

That being said, wanting to die can be a positive thing.