Changing Definitions

There is no ham in hamburger. As a child, learning this made me cry. Why not call a hamburger a beef burger or just a burger? Changing the definition of words to serve an advertising purpose or a political purpose serves no purpose. The Wizards of Smart waste their talents in the race to the bottom to befuddle and confuse when participating in such an activity.

In lieu of a formal manifesto, holding an audience captive, I offer a few examples of diametrically opposite nomenclature and the confusion it causes.

The Affordable Care Act: Not a piece of legislation designed to lower the price of or provide health care, but eliminate competition and overburden with regulations for purchasing health insurance.

Undocumented Worker: If I have employment, off the books, in which no taxation agency or regulatory arm of the government knows of my employment, I am an undocumented worker. If I enter a country without following the written laws for entry into the country, I have broken the law. I am an illegal alien.

All Beef Hot Dog: Watch what goes into hot dogs, if you dare. The chemicals and the additives are not beef. Hooves, ligaments, and mechanically separated animal parts are not beef. The casings may have once been close to a bovine, but proximity does not make it beef.

Transients: Transients are people in motion. Transient is not a description of ownership. I can travel from NY to LA and be transient whether or not I own or rent a place to live.

Second Class Citizen: To be a second class citizen, you have to be a citizen first. Just because someone does not like me, attacks me, or will not give me the time a day does not mean I automatically have citizenship.

All Natural: All things natural come from Nature. Plastic is polymerized hydrocarbons, found in nature. Uranium 235 is found (.72% by abundance) in Nature. Nature has unveiled itself to mankind cyanides, foams, harmful bacteria, insane viruses, persistent and toxic chemicals, and deadly portions of the electromagnetic spectrum (gamma rays, x-rays, UV rays). Thus, all that is natural does not inspire safety, or health.

Retarded: If I impede the flow of a liquid, the motion of an object, or the progress of a person from one point to another (added weights, slippery surface, added obstacles), then I have retarded the object's progress. I have committed no heinous offense other than being a difficult person. Thus, some words can be uttered when properly used without a chorus of politically correct police ranting and filing lawsuits.

Child at Risk: A young human in endanger of harm, not a young human that has committed a crime. If you are about to fall off of a ladder, you are a child at risk. If you have stolen a ladder, you are a thief.

Organic: To a chemist, organic is a compound in which a carbon to hydrogen bond exists. Gasoline is organic. Water is not. Go to the local farmer's market and scan for a laugher near expensive fruits and vegetables. The word was co-opted for easy to digest advertising, not for any semblance of correctness.

Homophobia: Phobia is a suffix for fear, not hatred, not for lack of understanding, and definitely not for disagreements. The word is so constantly misused, misunderstood, and misapplied that it has nearly lost its intended meaning.

All of these miss their intended mark. Each one says one thing when it is used to say another. With instant internet access and dictionaries, it is irresponsible to continue sickening those that know the difference.