I’m Sorry

Dear me,

I believe it is about time I apologized to you. I’ve done a few things to you over the years that just aren’t very forgivable and I know that no matter how forgiving of others you are, we both know that the hardest things to forgive are things done to you by you. I don’t ask for forgiveness though, only that you listen to me now. Although the path is slippery and I whisper quietly in our mind that we can’t make it, that others don’t love us and can never love us even when they say they do, that we don’t deserve anything good in life, it is a lie. You know it is, but the words are suffocating, and have a tight hold on us. I still believe in them more than I should, but one day we will grow beyond these words, and believe in ourselves more than these lies that whisper through our mind.

I know that you may see this as its own lie, as I continue to whisper the other negatives into our mind, clouding it with doubt and sadness, but a little part of you, a part still clinging to hope and the flickering light of happyness knows that things will get better, and that we deserve a good life. Sadness will cling to us for the rest of our life, sometimes choking us, sometimes only a shadow in the back of our mind. It lives with everyone, and we must learn how to live with it in a healthy way, like many others out there. We can not let it control us for the rest of our lives.

But for now, as you learn that some things, even when you believe it so, are lies, while others are the truth you need. At least accept this truth, as you struggle to accept the others, there is hope. Even if just a flicker of hope, there is hope that things will be alright. And it is our truth. Our truth that we will build together.

sincerely, me