“I love you”

he said i love you

and my heart faltered

not because of what he said

but because it was the first time he had ever lied to me

i knew it wasn't real

knew it wasn't true

it wasn't smart

but i said it back

it seemed fitting

like an eye for an eye

a lie for a lie

but that didn't make it right

i don't know if he really believed it

i don't know if i really meant it

or not

but meaning and believing doesn't make it true

good intentions don't mean good outcomes

good intentions don't mean telling the truth

he and i were in over our heads

but we were so scared to lose what we had

change isnt always bad

not even the majority of the time

it's always scary though

but when fear subsides different can be good

he and i didn't know that then

different was just scary

and same was safe

but same isn't always good

same can be suffocating

can be limiting

boring

but same is safe and securty is good, i guess

i love you became a habit

something said at predictable times

something constantly heard

but never felt