Pain

Self sobotage is a strong word and it is something that is hard to recover from. Pain is a factor. Pain is something that does not go away, knowing that feeling hurts in everyway in every form that is possible. From the crying to the yelling, to the self doubts and the wall that blocks you from happiness nothing can help. People try to tell you thingd like it is going to be okay or you are strong enough to the get through it but what do the know. Do they think that they know my life, my story or is it the face that I put on in front of them. No one knows what I think, no one can help, I can lie, I can run away but that thing that follows me everywhere will never go away. As I live my life with this pain thiking that I can fool myself. Knowing that I had let someone down in my life, I can't bare to tell someone my burdens because i know they won't actually care. I could drink or smoke as mush as I want but the short bliss of happiness can last for so long until the reality comes and punches me in the face. This pain is forever but I decided that I will be strong until someday, maybe someday this pain will go away.