Must be the heat

I think the heat of summer is having an unexpected effect this year.

There is something sinister, dare I say evil, happening in the animal kingdom. It may not have reached you yet, but I have no doubt that it’s spreading.

Animals are committing suicide.

I kid you not. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. What animal doesn’t have the survival instinct? What animal, besides the stereotypical deer in the headlight, doesn’t run or fly in the face of vehicular traffic?

Apparently, every animal in my neighborhood.

Now, don’t confuse the will to die with the incredibly stupid. We’re all used to the waddling woodchuck, the not so fleet of foot squirrel, the I-need-to-fumigate-my-car skunk, the oh-no-don’t-tell-the-kids I killed Alvin the Chipmunk, Bambi or the Easter Bunny. But all of these animals scurry in fear for their lives. They try to get out of the way.

They just suck at it.

What I’m talking about is beyond comprehension. I’m talking about animals playing chicken with cars. And losing.

Case in point. In my own driveway, I have had robins, squirrels, deer and bunnies stare me down as I pull in to park. (Woodchucks still try to waddle away although it’s as often towards me as it is away...) But these other crazies don’t move. I honk. They stare. Now, to be truthful, they win. I have no desire for roadkill in my own garden. But is this normal? Shouldn’t they be afraid of loud human in a car?

It gets worse.

I was driving down the highway the other day and there was a goose walking across the road. He wasn’t leading a family of goslings. This, I might have understood. Happens all the time on local streets (although I have never seen it on a highway). No, this was a lone goose traversing from the center median across the left lane, through the middle. That’s where I lost him in my rearview mirror as I was screaming fly you idiot, fly!! He may or may not have survived. I do know there were no geese flying in my mirror.

Then there was the turtledove, sitting in the middle of the road - just sitting! I mean, really, what self-respecting animal willingly sits on hot asphalt??? Maybe he was praying as he awaited - expected, hoped even - to be squashed by oncoming traffic. Namely me, since I was the only car on the road. He looked up and didn’t move a feather. I screamed at him to move. Sadly, he didn’t listen. But hey, the local hawk was circling within seconds. BBQ!