every minute is different
heart was
sinking
lying in a pool of its own blood and
there
you recognized feeling and thought feeling hurts
and then thought
feeling and so you welcome it glad
perhaps an indication that you might return to yourself that yourself might be waking up to the world and to senses the first sense is pain
pain does not have a taste
always
sometimes has a taste
a taste from sulphur
a forming of strangleholds of senses
a burning at the corner of your lips in the back of your throat a holding in the center of your chest. sulphur.
you sat at the colorful bar out of place in an other country and ordered what your country men order
a taco because that is what you should order
and then you stopped feeling because who is there to feel with. There is the bartender who smiles until you turn sideways when she will roll her eyes at the ridiculous amounts of cash you are spending and this is when there is no more feeling the burning is gone. you do not exactly miss it you are sad that this means there will be yet another long stretch before there is any hint of a person in you. she looked at you that way that makes you hate yourself and when you hate yourself you disappear