Today is my birthday.
I've been feeling absent-minded for a few weeks now, and though I didn't want to tell anyone, I kinda lost the ability to communicate. Oh sure, I can give one or two-word replies, but I just can't seem to form a real sentence.
What was I saying?
Ah, yes. B dropped me off at my ex's house, so I can spend the day with my daughter. I had a doctor's appointment first though. S, my oldest, agreed to take me, so B could go home and rest. S can be such a mother hen! Asking me all kinds of questions that make no sense! Even when I got mad at her, she wouldn't relent.
Then, the doctors and their gibberish. I never could understand half the crap they said before, so how can they expect me to answer now? They don't even give me a chance to think about it!
It's my birthday and I had to have a CT scan done.
We took care of it in the morning so S and I could do some shopping, food, maybe a movie.
I hardly ever get to see S. Well, we do have a dinner night once a week. M, my ex, is one for routine. When our other daughter, Sm was still here, she moved to North Carolina in April, M started the weekly dinner, so I could see the girls regularly. I'm happy that Sm is on her own and making a life with her boyfriend. He's going to be a doctor. But what's going to happen when they have children? Will I be able to see my grandchild? Why did they have to move so far away? It's not like S is going to give me any grandchildren. 29, and never been kissed. It's like she has no interest in men. She's like a hermit. Except for work, she doesn't have any human interaction. Well, except for her father. S is the female version of M, except she has no social skills whatsoever. Grandchildren. Am I ready to be a grandmother?
We received a call from Urgent Care a few hours later, telling me to immediately return. We did return, but still had to wait over an hour to be seen! I almost walked out. Why should I waste my birthday in a waiting room?
And why are we here anyway? Where are we?
"S. You okay?"
Ugh. It's getting harder to understand! Why are you talking so jumbled?
What is going on?!
More nonsensical questions from these quacks.
"Look! I'm. Tired."
Why was that so hard to say?
Finally, we got to leave!
But when we got to S' house, she motioned me to stay in the car! What is going on?
I really like this car. It's obviously new. I wonder whose car it is? It can't be M's. He doesn't like small cars. He made me buy my SUV. Oh wait. M can't drive anymore. Damn his eyes! I never imagined he'd lose his sight! Yes, his oldest brother is blind, but M is fifth out of six, and none of the others have a problem!
Just my luck; after all we've been through.
I know he did everything for me, but when we found out he was going blind, he got so needy and demanding! And losing his job at the Post Office! I just couldn't take it. And don't expect me to do everything! I had to get out of there! I knew, when he said we should divorce, that that was my ticket out. So what if I twisted his words and made him feel guilty? He should!
Truth be told, I was tired of him anyway. I had long fallen out of love, but stayed because I felt stuck. Well, the girls were both adults, so I did my duty! Time for me!
Hey! There's S! I like her new car. Why is she carrying a backpack?
I hope we can go eat now.
Oh S, I nod because I don't have a clue what you're saying.
S looks pretty stressed out. I wonder why?
Today is my birthday. Let's do something fun!
I wish my daughters didn't have such an aversion to touch. I want to reach out and comfort S. She's talking a mile a minute, which is what she does when she's scared. Why are you scared S?
I wish I could ask her!
Wait. Emmer like?
I thought we were going to my favorite restaurant. Didn't I say it enough times?
Hold on! This is the hospital! Why are we here?
"S! Okay?"
Why can't she be a little more patient? Can't she see that I'm having a hard time understanding?
"No. Let's. Eat."
Oh, for heaven's sake! Fine. Stop yapping at me! My head hurts.
Don't they understand that B is supposed to be picking me up soon?
Well, they better call him.
Here we go again. Gibberish and gibberish questions. This is ridiculous!
Alright! Alright. Where are we going now?
A room?? Are you kidding me?? And I have to wear that humiliating robe??
TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!
Ah. The emmer like thing again. I caught the doctor saying that.
Poor S. Look at her, trying to be strong.
Why am I here? I hate hospitals!
And why isn't M here??
He should be! He's my husband!
Oh, wait. Divorce.
More waiting.
I see S nodding off, but what can I do?
Hey! There's B! Hi B! I give him a big smile, but he just turned away, as S did her rapid fire explanation of our day. B held me a moment, and kissed my forehead, but rose and stepped back. He was leaving!
I know he has to go to work soon, working the night shift.
My eyes are burning. Stupid hospital chemicals.
At least I can watch some TV.
Happy birthday to me...