Inner thoughts of hers.

Well there he goes again, off to sleep early and not wanting a thing from me. I never look through his phone and I did, I found things that a faithful husband shouldn't even be considering.. Craigslist Personals. He says they were only in Bikinis but, then again, why would he try so hard to delete them before I saw them if they were only in bikini's? Now there's a question only he could answer, but I know he won't because he knows that I already know the answer. But I smile and pretend that I know nothing and that everything is fine because.. well because I love him and I know if he says those words and gives me that answer out loud we are going to be through. I love him too much to not look over his near-infedility but the truth is, I don't know if he is meeting up and hooking up with those girls that he found on there because it is that easy to get an email or phone number and an address. I never thought my marriage would end up with an, I actually do not know if he's been faithful or not but, emotionally unfaithful husband of 20 years and 3 kids. I always thought my husband and I would grow faithfully old together with 1 more than 3 kids and I would never have to second guess anything but that does not look like that is the case. But for now I guess I will just lay down next to him, without touching him, and just go to sleep and worry about everything else when the time comes. I will just have to see what happens and let my thoughts go for now.