Slipping Away (Intro)

Seating arrangments were altered in school to signify a new semester. Always a nightmare of mine to be surrounded, warm bodies all around me in the center of the classroom without the exit door in sight.

***

The blinders have activated like eager demons delighting in my delusion.

The catch in my throat, signals the onset of a flood of palpitations.

Glancing around the room, I’m surrounded.

There are people in front of me, behind me, breathing.

It’s so hot and I can’t see the door.

I can’t see anything but the desk beneath my clenched fists.

Knuckles white as bone, the panting begins.

I struggle to catch my breath as the spots in my vision appear.

Blinking and thinking, it’s the thinking that keeps me locked into position.

I try to flex my hands, but they hurt.

I can’t move them, pins hold them in place.

Hot glue melts my skin and sticks me to my seat.

Ice pierces my lungs and it’s getting darker.

So much noise, like static amplified by each body in the room.

Where the fuck is the exit?!

My eyes dart back and forth and my lips have died, numb and useless.

I’m shaking, my body, my breath.

My elbows once feeling the pang of pins and needles, are unfeeling.

I’m freezing in place; it’s sweltering in the air, in my head, everywhere.

I can’t get out of my head, it’s filling up with more thoughts and I can’t leave the madness.

SOMEONE HELP ME I’M SLIPPING AWAY!