A Friend
She peppers her speech
with laughter-lilting nothings
masking emotions
behind layers of let's pretend.
Let's pretend, she begs,
that I'm filled to the brim
with joy and friendship,
with a side of sunny-side up sentences
swirling in thick laughter-inflected pauses!
Pauses crack into silences,
the way her face looks
like a dead puppet,
mouth wide and limp,
glittering eyes empty,
relaxed and numb.
I cannot speak to the living as though they were dead.
I cannot mourn a warm body.
And so I am left,
an unwanted hope,
smiling up at what is gone.
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