Hot chocolate
Look, I don’t begrudge anyone his or her morning injection of choice, sugar or caffeine, in whatever form they desire. I, too, love my morning hot chocolate regardless of the time of year. (Air conditioning is my friend.) But, I have to say, I am dumbfounded by what people put into their bodies these days on a daily basis. I feel certain diabetes is going to leapfrog heart disease and cancer as the number one source of death someday soon…
Anyway, like I said, I say, to each his own when it comes to morning beverages, but customers at Starbucks have taken have it your wayto a whole new level. And sometimes, it is a wee bit challenging when one is waiting in line.
The other morning, when I walked into Starbucks, I was excited to see the line was short. There were only three people ahead of me. Lucky, I thought. I was running late for work, but starting the day without my hot chocolate was not an option.
The first person in line said, “I’ll have a venti red-eye with two pumps of sugar, three pumps of caramel, an extra shot of espresso and whipped cream.”
Oh my god! I thought. I can hear her arteries clogging.
“Anything else, ma’am?” Chris, my favorite barista asked.
“Yes, a caramel macchiato with…”
“What size, ma’am?”
“A grande caramel macchiato with six pumps of caramel, three pumps of sugar with whipped cream and some cinnamon sprinkled on top.”
Seriously? The idea of so much sweetness at 6:30 am – or any time – was nauseating.
“Anything else?
“Yes, a cappuccino.”
“What size?”
“Oh, yeah, sorry. A grande cappuccino, extra foam, an extra shot of espresso and two packs of Sweet and Low.”
“Is that all, ma’am?”
“No, I also need a venti cappuccino, dry, with five shots and six pumps of sugar.”
At this point, I began wondering if I should just leave and suffer the commute without my morning comfort drink. But sweet tooth was handing over a small fortune for her drinks and there were only two people left…I checked my watch and figured I could wait five more minutes. The next guy stepped up to place his order.
“Good morning, sir. What can I get for you today?”
“I’m buying for my car pool this morning.”
I think I groaned out loud because the guy in front of me glanced back. I smiled.
“I’ll take three Pine Roast and three Dark Roasts, please, with room for milk in all six.”
I do a little happy dance in side.
“All small, please.”
“Tall?”
“Whatever.”
“Anything else, sir?”
“Yes,” he says. I sigh. “Two bowls of oatmeal with all the trimmings, one of those egg white things,” (he points, I gag. They look like gooey, tasteless plastic), “one lemon loaf, one bacon egg and gouda. Does that come on ciabatta bread?”
“No sir, it’s whole grain.”
“Okay, that’s fine. I also need a crumb cake.”
Of course you do.
“Would you like it heated, sir?”
“That would be great. Also, one of the steak sandwiches. Are they any good?”
No, they are disgusting. That’s why they sell them.
“People seem to like them.”
“Okay, I’ll take one. That’s all.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. Although my five minutes have passed, I tell myself that they have two people making food and another two making drinks. I am wondering, however, why I never use the mobile app to order my hot chocolate before I arrive.
Carpool guy pays. It’s almost my turn.
“How may I help you, sir?”
“Just a grande iced coffee, please. I don’t need room for milk.”
I almost hug him.
“That will be $3.54, sir.”
He pays, I’m next and ecstatic.
“Morning, sunshine,” Chris says to me. “Your regular?”
“Yes, please, Chris.”
As he’s typing my order, the manager, Krista, shouts from the back room, “No chocolate drinks this morning, Chris.” She comes into the front. “We finished the chocolate last night and it didn’t come with this morning’s delivery. We’ll have to call the Ramsey store and see if we can pick up some from them.” She pauses and looks at me. “Oh, hey, Dan. So sorry about that. Can I offer you a free coffee instead?”