Gym Bod

Well, I did 45 minutes on the treadmill this morning. It is a new record for me. I am going for my ideal weight -- sizzlingly sexy. About three weeks ago, I realized, that if I didn't lose some weight it would kill me. So, I became highly motivated to stay alive.

Being a guy, I choose the most macho gym around -- Gold's Gym. Mecca of bodybuilding, home of Arnold. That and the three months half price promo made my decision. I said I wanted to get skinny. I didn't say I wanted my wallet to get skinny.

So, I did 45 minutes on the treadmill, came home and slept, and then my wife brought me a meal of lettuce for lunch, and I suddenly realized that I was turning into a hampster. This explains the hair on my back.

Going to the gym is working. I am losing weight, feeling healthy, my clothes are loose, but now things are starting to sag. I think I need a bra. I must be a 47 double-A? Maybe, I should get Spanx?