Sh*t.

This day could not get any worse. I was already late for school and now I have red and blue flashing lights in my rearview mirror. Cussing with such ferocity that my grandmother would walk out from her grave and drag me to hell with her, I switch my right indicator on and changed lanes. I waited impatiently in the car-my fingers tapping on the steering wheel. I glanced at the rearview mirror and saw that the officer was still in his car. Gosh, what’s taking so long. I debated whether I should make a run for it. Maybe I could lose the cop in the inside roads. Appearing out of nowhere, the officer tapped on my window. I jolted in my seat with surprise. Sighing with regret on missing the opportunity for a quick getaway, I opened my window and prepared myself for what was to come.

“You know why I stopped you?” Asked the officer.

I sighed. I had no time for these games.

“No officer, had I known why you would stop me, we wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.”

“Ahh someone is cheeky today. Why are you so nervous then?”

I definitely was very close in putting the car in drive and throwing the cop off. I took a deep breath and said, “Sorry sir, I am just really late for school and will get into loads of trouble and I am really anxious for that and scared of the fine I might receive.”

“Ya, I understand how stressful school can get. You know my daughter...”

He drones on and on as precious minutes passed me by. I literally had beads of sweat down my back. I wondered if the cop would be convicted of murder if I had a heart attack right here.

“Alright young chap,” he said, breaking my train of thought, ”Let me have you step out of the car and walk over to my vehicle and we can get you booked so you can be on your way.”

Now I definitely liked the sound of that. I released my seatbelt, opened the car door, got out, and followed the officer back to his cop car. He told me that apparently I had been speeding, which I figured, and when I asked him by how much, he told me 5mph. Wait. 5 motherf*cking miles per hour. Is he shitting me? He fricking pulled me over for 5mph over the limit??

“Yes, we are very strict about speeding. Have pulled people over for less,” he said.

In my mind, I imagined him saying, Excuse me grandma, I’m sorry but you were speeding 1 mph over the limit. I’m gonna have to take you to jail. No you are going to have to leave your cane in the car because it could be a weapon hazard. Was this guy for real?

“Sir, I thought that since this is my first time getting pulled over that I should be let off with just a warning?”

“Sorry, new rule,” the officer replied back.

“ What!? I have not heard about any new rules like that. Bro just let me go and I’ll be on my way.” I started towards my car.

The officer grabbed me and said, “Ok kid I’m gonna have you turn around. You need to calm down.”

“You know what, F*ck you. I will not let you f*cking cuff me for going 5mph over the speed limit. That’s bullsh*t!”

As his majesty, the asshole, and I were bickering, some rando had gotten into my car and turned it on because I let the f*cking keys in the ignition. I looked up and saw my car drive away.

Well sh*t ya that was the worst day of my life. No car. $1,000 fine. No school. Ya I was definitely screwed. But hey, could have been worse. Actually scratch that, that was f*cked up.