Can Never Get You into The Present

You doubt me so much,

That I start to doubt myself,

And everything that I could be.

Doubt; such an insidious virus,

Why is that I find

The ones who love you the most,

Sometimes doubt you the most?

But then it's only in my mind all along,

That you love me the way I wanted—

You never saw me,

But the girl who once was foolish.

In your eyes,

In your voice,

I can tell you never thought I was capable

Of being more than what you believed me to be.

Love binds us to the opinions of others,

And sometimes we reenact them,

Because love makes us believe,

Even in the wildest claims of ourselves.

But you were wrong all the time.

I'm more than what you believe me to be.

I'm so much more than what you think.

I'm more,

Because when I see your eyes,

And hear the words repeated from years ago,

The same excuses, the same reasons,

I realized that you lived in the past,

And this person in front of me,

Never moved past who she was,

So the people in her mind,

Never moved past who she thought they would be.

The past is enticing,

Comfortable to stay in—

Maybe for you,

But for me,

It's a nightmare,

That I'm willing to get out.

Maybe because I was close to death,

And staying in the past,

Means that I might really die,

By your words one day.

So I bid you goodbye.

I learn to love you from a distance.

Dear, I love you,

But the past holds you and I have no power to fight it.

So I must leave for my sake, for my life;

But I still hold a part of me

That would see you,

And want to drag you out into the present.

But love,

God, love bound you stronger to that past,

More than my love can bound you here.

How could I ever fight somebody you love so much that you are willing to throw your present for the past?