Yet here we are

Blood is thicker than water. My family has always told me that and I believe it to my very core, my family is more important than anything else including myself. I don't know if it made what you did hurt more. You fell for me, so fast and without any fear that I didn't know what to do. Love was fleeting for anyone, but relatives and I knew that from the beginning. I set lines I let you cross and boundaries you didn't even notice. I didn't fall for you. I walked down to meet you, carefully and controlled expecting you to run long before I got there. When I reached you I was safe and comfortable, which isn't what you wanted I guess. You wanted tension and guesswork and when I fell for you I released all of that. I was honest and upfront. So you picked her. You fell for her like you fell for me then tried to keep us both. The only difference was you didn't understand how rare it was to fall for you. You were an outsider, my loyalty wasn't given freely it was earned. You fought so hard to make me love you and then you decided I hadn't been worth the effort. I havent stopped thinking about you, we were good together. It was how you ended things that broke us. I would have stayed loyal. If you had decided we were nothing more than friends I would have tucked away the part that loved and cherished you and went on to stand at your wedding cheering with the rest, but you told me she was more important. That we had nothing. That there was nothing outside of our relationship than a bed. You ruined it. Now I doubt all the moments you held me. I doubt every kind word. Why did you choose then to be honest? I didn't want to know that! I didn't want to realize I had wasted a year of my life on someone who was using me. You could have stopped loving me and I would have accepted it. I would have moved on knowing I had been loved even if it didn't last forever. Yet here we are.