Caught With His Pants Down

He had highlighted hair which was spiked to make it look randomly placed but you could tell he allocated time every morning in front of the mirror to arrange each hair. He smiled and made eye contact periodically almost like he was delivering a prepared speech instead of trying to make an impression on a young girl.

Since she didn’t seem to have an appropriate appreciation for his importance, he kindly provided a beautiful Horatio Algier story about his rise to the top of his company from mail room to executive office suite.

Sally was thinking she may have made an error in judgment when she suggested to her husband that they separate and socialize separately at the party. She felt her skirt riding up a little. Since she was seated in a high straight backed bar stool chair and Jack was in a lower recliner he had a good angle to appreciate her attributes. Yes, his name was Jack and no she didn’t know Jack and he was kind enough to provide her with information about him for which she never would have dreamed to ask.

“Excuse me,” she said softly.

She slid off her bar stool and walked away as quickly as she could without giving the appearance of a person running away from a fire.

As she exited the house, Sally felt the refreshing night air and decided it would be pleasant to stare up at the stars and meditate. All of a sudden, Jack appeared next to her again and resumed his autobiographical narration right where he had left off.

A terribly evil idea occurred to Sally. Long before she could weigh the consequences of her actions, she set her idea in motion.

Sally made an exaggerated movement of her head and shoulders, hunching forward and seeming to examine Jack’s shoes. Slowly, she lifted her gaze, stopping about midway up his body.

“So, how big are you?”

“What do you mean, how big?” Jack stepped back, trying not to display his shock at the question. He wasn’t sure of the degree of impertinence of the question.

“I mean have you measured it? Is it small, medium or large?”

“Um, I don’t know. I guess medium.”

“Medium is ok.”

Sally turned and walked down the steps to the porch, out into the darkness and behind a large tree.

Jack, of course, followed.

“Put your jacket on the ground. I don’t want to get my knees dirty.”

“OH, God! I can’t believe this is happening”

“Oh, it’s happening alright. Get out your phone and text your friend inside the party. Tell him if he wants to have some fun to come out to the other side of the tree.”

Sally slowly rubbed him and watched while his shaking fingers sent the text. She unbuttoned his shirt, then kissed him on the neck, chest and then on the stomach while she firmly planted her knees on his jacket and ground it into the dirt. She undid his belt buckle and pulled down his pants.

“Whoops, dropped my phone she sighed and disappeared behind him. She continued to walk quickly out to the street, started her car and was gone.

Before Jack knew what was happening his friend Amos was shining his cell phone light on him, standing with his pants down in the dark.

“Oh, God, I never knew… I mean I never would have suspected, my dear Jack” Amos said as he approached.