I ran

Yeah. Mine happened on a caravan holiday in the Cotswolds. You know: disco every night, pedalos on the lake, video game arcade, shove ha’penny, that kind of thing.

I met a Lancastrian girl there. Heather, her name was. Her accent was strange (for me) but strangely attractive. She wore these oversized pastel cardigans and had dark, shoulder length hair. Her features were pointy and she was kind of skinny.

We met by the Pacland machine. She was good at it and showed me how to jump straight to the 5th level (you had to stay unharmed and push a certain tree trunk in the forest). Generally, the girls didn’t play Pacland so she stood out.

Anyway, after a few nights it was obvious that we liked each other and we were on the look-out for a spot where we could smooch.

There was a grass verge between the lake and the campsite with a few trees dotted around. Nobody would find us. We lay down there looking at the stars, holding hands. I was nervous.

Then, she propped herself up on her elbow and initiated what would be my first ever proper kiss. It started closed-mouthed and I could handle it, even though I was petrified. After that, her tongue slid into my mouth and flicked up and down. ARGH! This is disgusting!

I did the worst thing I possibly could have done: I got up quick and ran for my life. Maybe I was screaming. I don’t know. I can’t remember properly but it felt like I was. There was no consideration for her feelings, I just had to get out of there. I mean, what are 12 year olds supposed to know about kissing?

We met the next day and I apologised. She said it was fine. That night we tried again and it was much better.

We stayed pen friends for a couple of years, too.