Sabotage

“And then there was Mitch Donahugh, Matthew Davidson, Paul Rudd, but-”

“Not the actor.” I finished off with Lou. “You know, you always say that.”

“Well, some people tend to think it was the actor.” Lou shrugged her shoulders.

“I think you wish it was the actor.”

“Oh how well you know me, Tyler.” She winked “But all I’m trying to say is that all my other relationships have failed. Then came in Mike Hill and he just fit so perfectly. He’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had.” Not due to a lack of trying, I assure you. “I just can’t wait for our wedding.” She let out a sigh that stabbed me in the heart. Mike Hill had been something else. I definitely didn’t approve of him, I just couldn’t get rid of him like all the other boyfriends. None of the other tactics worked on this dude. I had even Google searched how to make someone see all the faults in someone. That didn’t work either. Nothing worked on this devil of a man.

I didn’t know how she hadn’t seen this months ago, but Mike was the most self-centered man on the face of the planet. After being engaged for three months already he hadn’t taken part in any of the activities that go along with being married. He just gave Lou a list of things to do and went to play church ball with his buddies.

“I can’t wait for your wedding either, Lou. It’s going to be a good day for you.” But a bad one for me.

“Good? It’ll be a magical day!” She swooned and plopped down on the couch in her apartment. “Speaking of magical, how did your date last night go?”

I barely refrained from rolling my eyes. “It was fine. She was nice enough. But we only went on one date, so I don’t really have a concrete opinion about her.” Yes I did. Mindy was by far the most annoying person I had ever been set up with. She was the picture perfect idea of a dumb blonde. She would agree with everything I said and didn’t have a single thought running around in her brain box.

“Mike says Mindy is really sweet. I hope you two get along. Maybe she can be your plus one to the wedding in two weeks?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

Yeah right, I thought. “Maybe. We’ll see.” Is what I said.

“When is your next date with her?” Lou laid down across the couch, placing her head in my lap. I ran my fingers through her auburn hair.

“I don’t know. I didn’t set up a second date.”

“Give me your phone. You are going on another date with her.” I gave her my phone, even though I didn’t want to go out with Mindy again. “OHH! Mike and I are going out tomorrow. Maybe we can make it a double date!” She dropped my phone on her stomach and whipped out hers from thin air. She pressed a couple of buttons then pressed the phone to her ear. I kept playing with her hair. As if going on a double date with the love of my life wasn’t an awful thing. Well it wouldn’t be such an awful thing if Lou was the one I was going on a date with and not Mindy.

“Hey, love! I have a question for you. Can we double tomorrow? Yeah, I was thinking Tyler and Mindy could come. Yes! He says she was really nice and he liked her. He just thinks that a second date would help him get to know her better. No, I didn’t ask him if he thought she was hot. Oh, alright. See you later than.” She made a kissing noise that rubbed me the wrong way then she said goodbye and hung up. “We will be doubling tomorrow.”

She pulled my phone back up and texted Mindy about the double date. I was certain Mindy would agree to this date. She could have a serious commitment and agree, because she agreed to everything I said.

“Mindy says she can’t wait.”

“Great.” I was not particularly looking forward to this date.

***

“Mindy, this is my friend and Mike’s fiancée Louisa Markson.” Mindy clung to my arm as in introduced Lou to her.

“Hi, I’ve heard so much about you from Mike. I feel like we already know each other like sisters.” Sisters that didn’t hug apparently. She wouldn’t let go of my arm for anything. Even as we sat down in our booth. I became certain that she would still cling to me once we got our food.

“Mindy, do you know where Mike is? I know you work together so maybe you know?” Lou said looking over my shoulder to the main entrance.

“He left right before I did. I’m not sure where he could be.” She tilted her head like she was trying to think. I was sure her head was just filled with fluff.

“Weird. Maybe I should call him.” She pulled out her phone and dialed Mike. But just moments after she pressed it to her ear she pulled it way to look at it. Like she was checking to see if it was the right number. “That’s weird. His phone must be dead or something. It went straight to voicemail.”

I had my thoughts on why it went to voicemail, but I had absolutely no proof, so I just apologized to her and kept it at that. I was certain Mike was the biggest cheater around. I could never find proof for it though, so it had always stayed a thought. Although, they were getting married in two weeks, so maybe he ought to tell her so that when he slips up it doesn’t come as such a surprise to her.

Nah.

“He’ll be here soon. Don’t worry Lou Hun.” Mindy said, then she laid her head on my shoulder, like she wanted to run it in Lou’s face that she had someone and Lou didn’t. I wanted to push her off, but I let her stay since I assumed that would be rather rude.

They waitress came over and asked if we were ready to order. I told him we were still waiting for someone. And he left without even asking if we wanted drinks while we waited. Rude.

“Sorry I’m so late.” Mike suddenly appeared at the table and Mindy pulled herself from my arm. She moved her hair over her shoulder and leaned her elbow on the table as Mike slipped into the bench. I looked to Lou to see if she had caught that, but she was too excited to see Mile finally show up.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you had some pressing business.”

“Yeah, a client called and yelled at me for a good two hours. At one point I just turned the phone on speaker and made food while listening to them complain.” He went on for a good ten minutes about his complaining customer. Every word that came out of his mouth made me want to climb across the table and punch out his teeth. He was so self-centered and Lou wouldn’t see it.

The waitress came back and cut off Mike’s story. I could have kissed her. Both women had been so enthralled in Mike’s story that I could have told them about plans to bomb the president and they wouldn’t have heard. But the waitress made him stop and made the girls focus on their menu.

“I’ll have chicken alfredo with a side of steamed broccoli.” I said handing her my menu.

“That sounds really good. I’ll have the same thing.” Cooed Mindy. Again, does she have anything going on in her head?

“I’ll have-”

“I’ll have your shrimp linguini.” Mike cut Lou off making my blood boil.

“And I’ll have lasagna.” She said like Mike hadn’t just cut her off. Or like it was something she was used too. The little-

“Can you believe her?” Mike said pulling the attention back to himself. “She could clearly see that I was in the middle of something, but she decides that it was the perfect time to come over and take our orders? She couldn’t wait twenty seconds for me to finish?” If I was a swearer I would be calling him a whole bunch of names I wouldn’t even dare to think right now.

“I’m sure she didn’t mean to interrupt you, honey. She already showed up once to ask what we wanted. And she was just doing her job.”

“Don’t give me that. She could have waited a few moments to do her job.” All the bleepedy bleep bleeps. What did Lou see in this devil spawn? Why couldn’t she see me as more than a friend? Why didn’t she chose me over Mike?

“I’m going to go to the bathroom.” Mike got up and stalked off.

“Me too.” Mindy said, as she got up and walked after him.

“Mike is in a foul mood tonight.” Lou said taking a sip of her water.

“You said it. I wonder if it has to do with that complaining customer.” I rolled my eyes. It was probably because he had to come on this date instead of staying with his secret lover.

“Maybe.” Lou looked a little sad.

“Hey, It’s not too late to settle for me.” I said it as a joke, but I really meant it.

She laughed and grabbed my hand. “If I wasn’t so in love with Mike I would probably have to keep our promise. You would be second best.” She winked at me. It was like happiness handed to me with a slap in the face. I was only second best.

The rest of the meal went about the same as the first little bit. It took all the power in me not to take my knife and throw it at Mike’s head. Or to hand my fork over to Mindy and tell her to do it. Because she would agree since she had no thoughts jumping in her head.

“Tonight was great, love, but I have to get going.” Mike said as he kissed Lou. “I just got a text and I need to go work it out. See you later. You too Mindy.” Then he looked at me. “Tyler.”

“Mike.” Then he was off.

“Tyler, will you take me home?” Mindy said into my ear. It gave me the wrong kind of shivers.

“Of course, Mindy. Are you going to be okay?” I asked as I leaned towards Lou.

“Yeah, you can go and take Mindy home.” Then we all left. The drive to Mindy’s apartment was a long one. Not because she lived far away, but because she insisted on either holding my hand or placing her hand on my leg the whole way. When she finally got out of the car I raced home, hoping to get rid of her ghost. Why did I agree to date her again?

***

The wedding day was fast approaching and I was still dating Mindy. I know you are probably asking what’s wrong with me. Well, let me tell you. When I next saw Lou after our double date she told me how much she didn’t like Mindy. I don’t know what exactly took over me, but I told her I really liked Mindy. I think I thought that maybe she was jealous of Mindy. Although I’m still not sure if it was because Mindy obviously liked Mike or if it was because she was dating me.

Of course it was because Mindy liked Mike. I must have been smoking something.

I walked into Lou’s apartment and saw her sitting on the couch biting her fingernails. She only did that when she was deep in thought on something that bothered her.

“Lou, are you alright?” I walked to her and knelt down before her.

She looked me in the eyes. “I don’t think I can marry Mike.”

That took me a second to process. “What? Why not?”

“I think I might have feelings for someone else. And I think he might be cheating on me.” Well, I could have told you that. “And I think Mindy is cheating on you.”

“Nah, she’s too stupid to do that.”

“I knew you didn’t like her!”

“Not even a little bit.” She punched my shoulder. “Why do you think she’s cheating on me?”

“Because I think Mike and she are together on the side.”

Oh, well that would make sense. “Do you want me to find out? I’m sure Mindy would tell me.”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to know, but I want to know so that I can make a decision about this wedding in three days.”

“I’ll call her real fast.” I dialed her number, and placed the call on speaker. “Hey, Mindy. I have a quick question for you.”

“Alright, I am always at your service Tyler Lockhart.” I made a face at Lou then went back to the call.

“Who is Mike’s girlfriend?”

“Allie Appleton.” She said it like there was a big duh in the sentence.

I looked into Lou’s eyes and saw that they were dry. I thought for sure she would be crying. “Thanks Mindy. Oh and btw I’m breaking up with you. Have a great life.” Then I hung up. I am so mean.

“He is cheating on me…” I pulled her into a hug. Even though I wanted to shout to the heavens that I knew it.

“Hey, but now you can see if you really do have feelings for this new guy. Just make the call and break up with Mike and then call the new guy and see if he wants to go out. I’m sure he’ll be the luckiest guy in the world.” She nodded her head against his chest and pulled away to get out her phone.

“Hey, Mike. I’m going to break up with you.”

“What?” I could hear him shouting on the other side.

“I know you’re cheating on me, and I can’t be with a person who isn’t totally on my side. Who isn’t totally in love with me?”

“You know about that?” Really? He wasn’t even going to fight it? At least he had the decency to be honest about it.

“Well, I do now. Goodbye Mike.” Then she hung up. “That was the cleanest breakup I’ve ever had.”

“Do you want me to go get ice cream or something?”

Lou nodded her head. “Mint cookies and cream.” I pulled her into my arms and placed a kiss on her temple.

“Anything for you. But you have to promise you’ll call that guy you might have feelings for and see if he wants to go out with you while I’m gone.”

“I promise.” She said with a sweet smile. I wanted to kiss her so badly.

“I’ll be back in just a second.” The moment the door closed behind me my phone started ringing. I looked at it to see that Lou was calling me. I just left. Why didn’t she just open up the door and tell me whatever it was she needed? I walked back in and saw Lou standing there in front of the door. “What?”

“I’m on the phone.” She mouthed at me. “You better answer that.”

I rolled my eyes. Maybe she didn’t know I was the one she was calling.

“Hello?” I asked answering my phone.

“Hey, it’s Lou.”

“I know. I have caller ID.”

“I was wondering if you’d like to go out some time.” What? “You see I just found out my fiancé was cheating on me and I feel like I’ve been cheating on him since I’ve been sort of in love with you for years.”

I dropped my phone.

“What?”

“I know it’s kind of sudden and everything,” she said as she hung up and placed her phone in her pocket, “but I have been in love with you since we were teenagers and made that silly promise to get married by 35 if we weren’t already.”

“What?” Why was that all I could say?

“I know, you’re probably confused as to why I wanted to marry Mike anyway. I actually agreed to marry him to make you finally confess your feelings. But you never did and I couldn’t go through with the wedding if I was in love with you. It was kind of a relief that I could put out breakup on Mike for cheating on me. Now he has to pay all the cancelation fees and everything.” She laughed at herself, but behind the laugh there was uncertainty in her eyes.

“Anyway. If you’re totally uncomfortable-” I was definitely not uncomfortable. I cut her off with the kiss I had been wanting to plant on her since we made that stupid promise.

“Oh,” She said once I pulled away.

“I have been in love with you just as long. We went almost fifteen years without confessing this to each other. What is our problem?”

“I don’t know. I guess I was just worried you wouldn’t return my feelings.”

“I tried to sabotage all of your relationships so that you would finally notice me. But every time I got one guy to leave you had another one pop up.”

“I dated so much so that I could make you jealous.” She laughed again, but this time it was real. “Look at the two of us. We are both ridiculous.” I kissed her again. I poured all the love I had inside of me into that kiss. Her arms came up over my shoulders and her fingers buried into my hair. I pulled her closer to me and kissed her senseless.

“Maybe you don’t have to lose money on that wedding.” An idea had hatched.

“What do you mean?”

“Marry me.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I would be the luckiest woman in the world to marry you Tyler Lockhart.”