Lost and Found

Everything was perfect.

The weather was a comfortable 70 degrees with no clouds in sight, there had been no pre-wedding disasters, all the bridesmaids and groomsmen were happy and calm without a hair misplaced, the honeymoon car was gassed and ready to go, and the guests were patiently waiting in their seats for the bride to walk down the aisle.

Everything was perfect.

Everything except for the bride.

It wasn't her dress that was the problem. Nor was it her hair or shoes.

It was the doubts that had plagued her from the moment she had seen her wedding dress this morning and were only increasing as the day went on.

Raelynn stood on the other side of closed doors, the rows of guests and the awaiting groom on the other side of the glass. She could see her best friend Ivy, the maid of honor, whose expression was just starting to show a hint of worry at the pianist having to repeat Raelynn's wedding march for the third time. Her mother's face was scrunched up - it had been from the moment Raelynn's indecision had started to manifest this morning. Instead of offering her only daughter some advice, she'd just sighed and said this was her problem - she could handle it on her own.

Next to Raelynn, her father had begun pacing up and down the hallway. It wasn't in his nature to be assertive and make her open the doors, but she could see the strain etched in the lines on his face.

And then there was Dennis.

Raelynn's heart ached for him, standing there up on the stage without a bride beside him.

But she still didn't open the door.

Could she really do this? Walk through these doors and say I do in front of a two-hundred person crowd and not even mean it?

Or maybe she did mean it.

Raelynn massaged her temple as a headache spiked with her rising emotions.

She didn't know what she was feeling anymore.

No. That was a lie; she just didn't want to admit the emotions.

She was unsure, nervous, confused. Scared.

She was so scared she was making a mistake. Raelynn knew brides had second-thoughts all the time, that this was supposedly normal, but she couldn't help but wonder if things had moved way too fast between Dennis and her.

Her father finally came up behind her and placed a hand on her back. "Raelynn? Are you ready?"

Every fiber of her being was screaming no, and yet she somehow felt her head nodding yes.

Her father let out a huge breath, like he'd been worried that the answer would have been a no. He nodded to the attendant, who opened the big doors. At the sound, the pianist struck up the music. The whispers died down as people stood up, but Raelynn could still feel the judgemental stares of more than a few.

She took a few wobbling steps forward, clutching her father's arm, well aware of Ivy's urgence to catch her friend's eye. She wanted to know what the delay was and if everything was still okay. But Raelynn ignored her. Ignored the stares of everyone, in fact. She still scanned the room, though, looking for a single face within the large crowd. It took her a couple seconds and a couple scans before she admitted to herself that he wasn't there.

It struck her harder than she'd thought possible. He hadn't come.

The shock made her stop walking, freezing in the middle down the aisle. The whispers and murmurs rose to an audible level once again and even the pianist missed a note, unsure of whether to continue playing.

Beside her, Raelynn's father was left completely unsure of what to do.

Because in that moment, after realizing that one of her oldest and best friends hadn't come, she was forced to think about her relationship with him. And that was a dangerous thing.

She finally looked at Dennis, as if he held the answers she needed. And while they were as kind and as bright as his blue eyes have always been, she couldn't help but be reminded of a pair of brown ones she'd known for her whole life. Raelynn knew she should have felt some measure of peace when looking at the person she was supposed to be spending the rest of life with, but the only thing she felt was her growing alarm.

She then did a thing that she could never undo.

She took a step back.

Away from Dennis and away from the mistake she knew she'd made.

One step quickly turned into two, three, and before she knew it, she had completely turned around and was fleeing her way back through the aisle.

Gasps and exclaims rose behind her - she could hear her family, Dennis, yelling her name - but she couldn't stop. She burst through the doors leading to outside, startling the pedestrians walking past. She knew this looked like a scene from a movie, a bride running through the streets, and she could only imagine what everyone thought.

No, she knew what they were all thinking.

She was a bride who had left her groom standing alone.

But she didn't care, her mind - her heart - was chanting one word.

James.

One hour earlier…

Raelynn stared at her dress. There it was, hung up on the back of a closet, waiting for the happy bride to put it on and twirl, dance, laugh, and love in front of her friends, family, and future husband.

Because she was happy, right?

She was about to live out a fairytale wedding most girls could only dream about. She was going to marry the love of her life, Dennis Laughlin, and live happily ever after.

So where was her smile?

Why was it, when she looked in the mirror, she saw a face so forlorn? Like she was at a funeral and not her wedding.

She was stressed, that was it. She had become one of those monster brides her and her friends always used to joke about. The ones who became a total nightmare or looked like they were completely miserable.

Her mother popped her head into the hotel room. "The photographer wants to know when you want to start taking pictures."

The bridesmaids all looked at Raelynn; they were all dressed and ready to go, they just needed to help with her dress.

"Just give me like ten minutes," Raelynn said.

Her mother nodded but before she could leave, Raelynn stopped her. "Hey, mom?" Something about her tone made her mother pause. Raelynn hesitated for a moment before getting up and going over towards the door. She leaned in close, some part of her feeling foolish. "Have… have you seen Dennis at all?"

That obviously wasn't the life-changing news her mother had been expecting, because she just let out an impatient sigh, saying: "Yes, yes, and he looks as handsome as ever. Now if you would like to get married sometime this century…" She waved her hands towards Raelynn's wedding dress, her meaning clear. Without another word, she left, closing the door firmly behind her.

Raelynn leaned a forehead against the closed door, sighing. Her mother had never been the easiest person in the world to talk too. Raelynn knew it had something to do with her grandmother's distance towards her daughter, but Raelynn still wished her mother would have learned from her mother's example instead of following it.

A hand was placed on Raelynn's arm, and she turned to see Natalie, one of her three bridesmaids. "Time for your dress," she said with a smile.

Raelynn smiled instinctively in return, almost like she was trying to convince herself that she was happier than she actually was. She walked back towards the closet, where her dress hanged. She spied her phone sticking out of her open purse on the floor. Looking around almost guiltily, Raelynn snatched it up. She sent James a message.

You here yet? I need to talk to somebody - for as much as this is supposed to be my day, no ones seems to be listening to me.

Within seconds, the text was marked as read, but no reply came. A speech bubble appeared for about two seconds before disappearing and not coming back.

Raelynn stared at her phone with surprise. James never just left her read like that. The only time he never replied was if they were having some sort of fight. And they hadn't had a fight in weeks, right?

…To be honest, they hadn't had much of any interaction for the past couple weeks. Raelynn told herself that she had just been busy with wedding plans and him with his mechanical shop, but some part of her had to admit things had been just a little off between them lately.

She'd known James for her entire life, he was her best friend - back before Ivy moved to town and, even then, she considered James to be her closest and oldest friend - and even still she felt like he'd become a stranger to her these past couple weeks.

But she couldn't think about that now. This was her wedding day, not the time to decipher her increasingly moody friend.

She looked over at her bridesmaids; Ivy, Natalie, and Faith - her cousin. If they were happy - if Faith, her constantly grouchy cousin, somehow managed to have a grin on her face - surely Raelynn could find something to smile about.

Like the fact there wasn't a cloud in the sky, even though the forecast called for rain and thunder all day.

Or that nothing had been lost or broken, a miracle for Raelynn's clumsy friends and family.

Her hair was done just right and her makeup wasn't smudged or done too heavily.

And, most importantly, she was soon going to become Mrs. Dennis Laughlin.

A smile finally stared on Raelynn's face. Their romance had been a whirlwind one. From the time they'd first met to right at this moment barely stretched a year. She'd been so awed at Dennis's confidence and how he seemed to know exactly who he was and what he wanted. But it didn't make him self-important or arrogant. He was kind, loving, and just such an amazing guy. He was just so good.

The tentative smile faded a little.

He was just so good.

He was a better person than her in so many ways. She couldn't even begin to compete.

But, she was turning negative again, so she plastered the smile back on her face and got to work. With the help of her bridesmaids, she got the dress on, the long line of buttons and clips secured in a relatively quick amount of time.

Soon, she was finally able to look at herself in the full-length mirror, a bride adorned in silk and lace. The only problem was her smile. It was weak and brittle, fake even to her.

So she stretched her red painted lips wider, and pretended that she was a bride completely and happily in love.

Eight months earlier…

Raelynn picked her clothes for her date with Dennis with care. He'd been pretty vague on what they were doing and where they going, so she thought it best to stick with blue jeans, nice but sturdy shoes, and a generic but flattering shirt.

She'd been dating Dennis for a couple months now - almost a year. It was crazy how a chance meeting could just change your whole world.

Her phone vibrated from its place on her dresser. She picked it up and saw that it was from Dennis, making sure she was on schedule. With a little chuckle, she texted back Of course, with a smile emoji.

She exited out of his conversation and noticed James's. Earlier this morning, he had asked if she wanted to go to this special showing of one of those old sci-fi movies James loved. She'd already made plans with Dennis at the same time, so she turned him down. He'd only responded with a simple ok, which Raelynn knew meant he was a little upset she was blowing him off for her boyfriend.

Thinking about it now, she felt a little guilty. She had been spending a lot of time with Dennis lately, inadvertently filling up the time she usually spend with James. She'd gone on a date with Dennis last night, maybe he wouldn't mind delaying their plans for tomorrow - or just by like two hours.

But then Dennis responded to her previous message with Luv you, and Raelynn knew she couldn't cancel last minute. She did still feel a little bad - she knew James hated going to the theater by himself - but there was nothing she could do.

With a sigh, she grabbed her purse and headed out of the house, Dennis just pulling into her driveway to pick her up.

They were going to the fair! As they pulled into the parking lot, Raelynn looked out her window with a grin that just wouldn't die down. "Oh, Dennis," she breathed out.

He started grinning too, pulling into an empty spot. "You said you've never been to a fair and it was in town. You're… excited to be here, right?"

She laughed at his sudden bout of uncertancy. "Of course I am!" Although he wasn't completely accurate about her never being to a fair. James took her to one a couple years ago, but it was super small without much to do. Looking at the size and all the lights of this one, she couldn't help but be super excited thinking about what was in store for the day.

And it certainly didn't disappoint.

They spent the entire afternoon and evening laughing and playing games. He fed her endless love for funnel cake and nacho fries. They wasted almost fifty dollars on different side-show games; bottle toss, darts - whatever they saw, they did.

That didn't mean they were any good at it though. By the end of the night, they only had two small stuffed turtles to show for their effort. Raelynn was fine with it, but Dennis was determined to win her a giant stuffed bear that had gained her notice at the start of the day. It took him a solid twenty minutes before he won it - much to the surprise of the both of them. The attendant brought down the bear with the red bow-tie, handing it to Raelynn.

But before she could take it, Dennis reached over and plucked it out of her hands. "Bow-tie's crooked," he said in a way of an explanation. He straightened it out, his body angled away from her, before handing it back.

Giving him a joking eye-roll for his obsession with perfection, she took the bear back.

"Make sure you inspect it as well," he said, turning what he did into a joke.

Laughing, but trying to act like she was serious, she gave the bear a once-over.

Fur was soft, check. Eyes equally spaced apart, check. Bow-tie straight, che-

She broke off with a gasp, seeing the glistening ring that had been tied to the bow-tie. Taking the bear back, Dennis untied the ribbon, lifting up the ring as he dropped to one knee.

Raelynn thought she was dreaming.

She was being… proposed to? But she'd only known him for less than four months - they were already serious enough to make such a big step?

Apparently so, because here was Dennis, down on one knee before her.

"I know we haven't been together for all that long," Dennis began, giving voice to one of her worries, "But I knew I loved you almost from the moment we met."

He had? She was still trying not to be uncomfortable when he kissed her around his parents.

It looked like he had a lot more to say - the breath he took was long enough to suggest speech-length - but someone in the crowd forming around them called out, "Just kiss her already!"

As if realizing how many people were around, Dennis stood up and leaned in close towards Raelynn. "I want to spend my whole life with you," he whispered, cutting his speech short. "I love you."

Before Raelynn could respond - although she didn't know what she'd say - he closed the distance and kissed her. The crowd hooted and yelled their approval, but the sound of Raelynn's heart pounding in her chest blocked it all out.

She hadn't said yes - he hadn't even officially asked her - but she knew the instant she had instinctively kissed him back, she had given him her answer.

Dennis dropped her off at her house shortly after. She opened the front door, wondering how she was going to tell her parents. But she needn't have worried, because the second the door clicked shut behind her, she noticed both her parents were standing by the front door, obviously waiting for her.

"Congratulations," her mother said, giving her a little peck on the cheek. Her father gave her a hug and when he pulled back his eyes were rimmed red with tears of fatherly-love.

"I guess you already know then," Raelynn said, a little off-kilter with the extra weight on her left hand.

Her father nodded. "Dennis had spoken with me a couple days ago."

Made sense. As old-fashioned as it seemed, Dennis was always one who stuck with such traditions like asking her father first.

After a few moments, her father placed a hand on her arm and said, "Your mother and I had better be going. We have plans with some friends for a quick night-cap."

Raelynn made all the noises that was expected for a daughter disappointed with her parents leaving, although in her mind she was cheering their impending absence. It eliminated the need to explain why she was going to be leaving again.

The second their car rolled down the drive, she was out of the house and running in the opposite direction. There were only two places James could possibly be: his family home or his second home, his shop. She guessed his mechanical shop and was correct.

Music was blaring from the open garage door and Raelynn could see a pair of legs sticking out from under a car. Walking over to a table, Raelynn paused James's playlist on his phone.

It was almost a sin to mess with James's music, so she wasn't surprised when he quickly jerked out from under the car. "Hey, what are you-" He broke off once he saw it was her. "Rae," he said, his tense shoulders relaxing. But then he saw her face. "Rae, what's wrong?"

She was sure there was a better way to say it, but she couldn't help but blurt it out. "Dennis proposed."

His face went blank for a moment before he took a breath and held it. "Proposed." His tone was flat.

It all came rushing out. "We were at the fair and it was tied to the teddy bear. The ring, I mean. And then he was on one knee, in front of everybody. He didn't even ask me if I said yes. I'm sure he meant too, but just kinda forgot after people in the crowd started yelling. And then he was kissing me and -"

"So what did you do?" James interrupted.

"I…" Raelynn hesitated. "I kissed him back. So - so I guess I said yes." James didn't say anything, so she exploded again. "But I've only known him for like four months! Isn't this like, too fast?"

It took him a moment to respond. But what he said wasn't what she was expecting. "Do you love him?" Before she could respond, he said, "Who knows, maybe it's true love or something."

This was not what she wanted to hear. She needed James to listen to her - to her doubts and worries that maybe she shouldn't have kissed Dennis back.

She didn't need the callous and dismissive James, she needed the one that listened to her and would actually give her advice.

"James, I-"

He raked a hand through his hair. "I'm actually kinda behind schedule here. So unless you wanted to talk about something other than you being happily engaged to Dennis, I need to get busy."

Her mouth dropped open. Happy engaged? Had he not heard a word she'd said? And when was he too busy to talk with her? Even on his toughest days, they always talked - or, at the very least, she could just stay with him in the shop.

She wanted to talk to him - she needed to talk to him. But all she did was turn around and run back home.

For a split second she almost turned back around. But she didn't, and so she missed the look on his face. The way he reached a hand out to stop her. And how he punched the wall when she was too far gone.

Three years earlier…

"We welcome all to Jefferson High's 2016 graduating class!"

Although they weren't technically supposed too, the students on the stage erupted into cheers, drunk on the energy of their fellow classmates and the thought that this was the last time all the students would be together in the same space.

Raelynn wanted to jump up from her seat with excitement, but settled for being the loudest cheerer instead. She'd finally done it! Put up with tests, annoying teachers, and the stress for good grades - all for the knowledge she'd make up in the morning and never have to worry about school again.

She scanned the rows of students for her friends, Ivy and James. She spotted Ivy quickly, but she was in the front row and unable to catch her eye. It took her a little longer to spot James, across the stage but angled so she could see his face, but he was already looking at her.

We did it! Raelynn cheered silently.

He quirked his lips to the side. You did it. I barely scraped through with a C.

She rolled her eyes. You're sitting on this stage, right?

He raised an eyebrow. Yeah...?

She widened her eyes. So that means you did it too!

He leaned back in his seat, fixing her with an Oh, you, look.

Raelynn had to smother a laugh.

It was times like this that she loved having James around. He was her best and oldest friend - she didn't know what she'd do without him. They could spend an entire day together, not even talking, and wouldn't want to do anything different.

James slid her another glance and Raelynn returned it with a grin. There was no one else in the world she'd rather share this moment with.

Fifteen years earlier…

At age six, Raelynn had the reputation of being stubborn. She knew what was right and wrong, what she wanted, and who she wanted to be with.

That's why she scrunched her nose up at James and said, "We're too young to kiss now."

His lower lip stuck out as he pouted. "Why not? You know I love you."

She laughed. "Oh, silly. We kiss when we get married."

His eyes widened. "You wanna get married now?"

Raelynn giggled. "Not till we're grownups, remember?

"Oh." He looked disappointed.

But, always having a soft spot for her best friend, she said, "One kiss. On the cheek."

He jumped up from his place next to her on the floor, but even with his brave talk earlier, his own cheeks flamed red as he leaned in close.

Even Raelynn was turning red. "Hurry up, you dummy," she commanded.

But instead of kissing her on the cheek like had been planned, he jerked to the side and planted a quick kiss on her lips instead.

Her eyes were wide when he pulled back while his shined with mischief.

She shoved him back with a laugh. "James!"

He quickly scrambled to his feet and ran out the open back door, Raelynn seconds behind him, hollering and yelling.

"Not till we're married," she was yelling. "Not till we're married!"

Present day…

Raelynn found him where she always knew to find him;in his shop with some sort of tool in hand and grease covering any visible skin.

He looked startled when he saw her standing there, the tool slipping from his hand and clattering to the ground. "Rae." He took in her and her dress, and while some part of him ached to see her so beautiful, it felt like a stab in the chest as well. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

But Raelynn hasn't run all this way to stop and explain now. She crossed the room towards him and only had a moment to see his widening eyes before she closed hers and kissed him.

He froze for a split second before placing his hands on her hips and pulling her closer. Melting to her, just like she always knew he would.

She was an idiot for not seeing it sooner - for completely overlooking the extra glances he shot her when he didn't think she was looking or how it looked like it physically pained him when she was with Dennis or going over wedding plans.

She pulled away suddenly, her heavy breaths mingling with his. "Do you love me?"

Alarm flashed across his face but his grip never lessened.

"Because I just ran all this way from my wedding. I ran from my family, my friends, from Dennis, just because I finally realized something I should have known years ago."

He just watched her, waiting for her to continue.

Raelynn took a deep breath. "We are not friends." He looked a little surprised at that. "We are not two people who have known each other since we were toddlers." She took a deep breath. "We are two people who have been in love since we were toddlers. I thought I loved Dennis" - his eyes flashed at the name - but then you weren't at my wedding. You weren't there" - her voice broke - and it made me realize how much you meant to me. How much I loved you more than I could ever love Dennis." She only hoped that it wasn't too late.

James removed his hands from her hips, but only to place them on either side of her neck, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe away tears Raelynn hasn't even realized were falling.

"I've always wondered if I was making a mistake," James began, "not telling you how I felt. You were like a star to me. You burned so bright and all I wanted to do was reach out and touch you. But sometimes the brightest lights burn the worst. I thought that if I told you how I felt, you'd reject me and there'd be no recovering our friendship. So I couldn't tell you." He looked physically pained. "Years passed and I couldn't tell you. But mine is a selfish kinda love, Rae. I couldn't pretend that I was happy for you. That hearing about Dennis or wedding plans didn't make me wanna kill the guy. And I couldn't" - he took a deep breath - "I couldn't go to the wedding and see you up there, in that dress, and know we'd never be more than friends."

"Why do you think I'm here now?" Raelynn whispered.

Hope flickered in his eyes, almost like he was afraid to believe.

She took a deep breath and then said the words she was just now realizing had been true for a very long time. "It's all because of you. Even since I was little, the only place I wanted to run was towards you." The tears wouldn't stop now. "Because I lo-"

He kissed her, because he already knew what she was going to say.

"Hey," he said, pulling back as a memory struck him. "Not on the lips until we're married, remember?"

She looked confused for a moment before her face cleared with recognition. "Oh, shut up," she said with a laugh, grabbing the front of his shirt to pull him back in for another kiss.