Pain

I don't know what hurts more,

Her words of hatred,

The ones who sided with her,

Or the apathy of those who are supposed to love me the most.

She called me all sorts of names and made accusations of the worst sort.

Her actions and words, a stake to my heart,

Those who believed them and abandoned me,

My family who dismissed me with cliche sayings,

Callously told me to move on,

And refused to belive that the person who made my life this living Hell was that cruel.

Or the therapist who waved his hands dismissively with an anxiety diagnosis,

Made fun of my annoyance about the cliche sayings that seemed invalidating,

And told me I was a kvetch (Jewish word for complainer) for venting my pain.

That itsself was a minimization of my hurt.

No wonder I discontinued therapy.

No wonder I didn't tell my family when the sister of a former friend threatened me.

No wonder others only see a person with a positive outlook.

I've become good at hiding my emotional pain.

Because indifference is just as painful as cruel words and actions.