Running Through Life

I was once walking,

Calm as a still summer night with chirping crickets

Content as a purring cat curled up beside a fireplace

Innocent as a baby bird before ever taking flight

Radiant as the moon adding light to a dark world

Now I am running,

Unclear of a direction

Frightened to look behind

Yet petrified to look ahead

Maybe if I close my eyes, the ground will stand still

If I could only catch my breath for an instant

Ever since the snow, I quickened my pace

Suffocating with a smile plastered on my face

Heart pounding even when fast asleep

Dizzy and sweating,

Yet my toes are ice cold

Running from the past because the memories are too vivid

Just a reminder of what I have lost

I miss the simple days,

The days of playgrounds and sprinklers and ice cream trucks

The nights of movies and sleepovers and star gazing

I miss his voice and his hugs and his humour

Memories that can never be recreated because he is gone

Why remember the time when smiles were more common than cries?

So I forgot for the moment

I wonder if I will ever remember again

If I will ever want to remember

Running through life,

Letting moments of happiness and achievement pass me by

My eyes dart from place to place

I twist the ring on my finger as my mind spins

Focus lost, only confusion remains

How will I live without him by my side?

Running ahead and never turning my head

I will need a break from it all soon

Trying to slow down,

Learning to catch my breath and feel in control again

Hoping for a future filled with unwavered joy

Even without him, I pray for my success

I see him but he’s too far to reach

Patience will guide me through the years,

and comfort me through the days

But

I will

Get

To

Him

Faster

By

Ru n n i n g