What Are You Afraid Of?

I jump, closing my eyes, it will go away, not now, I’m in control, open my eyes, try not to blink. I stand up, I ask for strength, why is it so hard, dont be stupid, I walk away, If I don’t look it isnt real, Its all in how I think.

Blaming on someone else, my fear isnt caused by what I think, but how I feel; this doesnt make me weak, it makes me real.

Hold out your hand, it won’t get bit, tell yourself you’ll be alright, as I feel paralyzed, I continue to sit. There it goes again, I continue to be deaf, thinking of excuses to use, my heart pounds in my chest.

One, two, three, four, how many more, just a moment longer and it will be gone; no, it will continue, face the music, sing that song. Goosebumps over my skin, shake them off, keep shutting myself in, tomorrow i can start over, when will this panic end.

Rambling on, my thoughts never stop, throwing onto paper whatever jumps out, unsure of the words, if they make sense or not. Do I care, does it matter, it is what calms me down, where my emotions can be seen, with feeling I write them down.

Take a deep breath, overwhelmed at what I see around me, another disturbance finds it’s way through my door; I want to scream, smiling a little less, I cant take much more.

Then again, one, two, three, continuing, maybe I’ll hurl it across the room, let it bounce off the wall; when will my fear be conquered, when I face it head on, as soon as I answer that dreaded call.