courage and cowardice

I am a coward.

this is for the best.

this is what I deserve

and everyone else doesn't deserve

the pain I cause them.

tears stream down my face

staining it over and over again

blood

and tears

and blood.

I know I shouldn't

it goes against all I know

but it is for the better, right?

all I have to do is...

I take a step.

one

two

and I am at the door

soaring

above those who love me

about to come crashing down.

and then

I stop

and think.

and that made all the difference.

I may cause pain, but I also bring joy.

I may not be perfect, and never will be,

but I can change.

I can be better.

and

most of all

by chosing the hard way,

by choosing life,

I am courageous.