True Story

I have the worst luck in the world. If something is thrown near me, it will hit me in the head. This has been tested and proven. My wife used to think it was a joke until she beaned me in the dome a dozen or so times thinking she was being funny. I sat in the corner of a room, she threw a toy for the dog, it glanced of of the door and traveled diagonally across the room to hit me square in the face. I was reading at the time so it was a double whammy, one I was not paying attenion so it scared the crap out of me, two because it bloodied my nose. If I get pulled over, no joke I get the police officer that has had the worst day of his/ her career up until that moment. I got a speeding ticket for over three hundred dollars. I have been hit by a car, undergone two surgeries that were supposed to be same day that landed my in the ICU for days each. Gotten a serious infection in my armpit (that totally sucks, and I dont recommend it). and been in a helocopter crash. People have said I have been lucky I wasnt killed. I respond with death would have been way too easy. I wish it was just a story, but its the truth. Go now my friends and spread the tale of my woe.