Lost but never found

I have been lost and I still am today. I am emotionally lost and I am struggling. I try to get help but it seems as if it is lost as well. I scream out for help with my words but for some reason, no one hears these piercing cries. I am blinded by the lies of the world. Whispering their promises of nurture, protection & love only for it to be a backstabbing lie. Slowly suffocating and consuming me slowly until I am nothing more than a dust bunny sleeping under the couch waiting for the tornado to come and suck me up. I want to run away to PARADISE. The place that only exists in my mind. Where I go to find protection, and comfort. Something truly is consuming me. Something beyond the normal maybe even something paranormal. Fighting for what is wrong, right, good or bad. Who or what I am. Struggling to find where I belong. What I have to do where I have to go. How I have to do it. And after everyhting, you think you still have family & friends to be there for you. So you go and try to get help. TRY but they just end up in cries. They don’t believe you or they think you’re joking. Or most of all, you’re too scared to tell them because they are too busy or you think they won’t listen. You only have God, your cat & your diary to confide in because they won’t judge you. And you don’t want to tell anyone because you are afraid they won’t accept you or they will think you are crazy or even worse they won’t love you for who you are. And it hurts because you’ve tried before. You’ve tried but eventually, you end up drowning in a pool of your own toxic ideas and thoughts. So therefore, I am so on still lost & yet to be found.