the land of shadows welcomes you

Shhhh…

“I hear something,”

“I can’t hear anything..."

Shhhh…

“--listen!”

“Can you see--”

“--that!”

“Oh…..Wait--”

“--it’s gone..”

A dark, rugged, almost disheveled outline

lurks--

--in the corner of my eye.

Perhaps it is a person,

someone... I recognize?

Could it be,

someone I once knew?

Or, maybe it's someone I just can’t seem to place?

That face.. If only I could get a closer look--

--that sharp chin protrudes,

almost... snarkily..

Like its jeering..

...At, (I think), me?

And..

..That walk--

--the way those steps are paced..

One foot after the other, slow yet--

--purposeful (?)

I can’t really tell,

who’s following me?

Whoever it is--

--or, rather, whatever it is

seems to know me.

There’s this feeling,

I can't seem to shake..

You know? Or maybe it’s just me...

It’s indescribable..

It’s like a mask, like the first layer of my face…

As if it’s been peeled back, except--

--it’s not just one mask or just one layer…

Rather, it’s like... I’m bare.

Bare.

Not sure if that actually captures it--

--but it’s a feeling,

of being known..

Of not having any cards to play…

It’s really bugging me..

Who or what is this--

--entity?

(I’m not even sure what to call it, or her, or him..)

Am I special? Is it just following me?

Or does everyone have their own--

--special... friend?

(let’s call it that.)

This special friend seems sinister..

Almost scheming,

waiting, as if to pounce,

on a moments notice..

On who? Honestly...

I think it's waiting for me..

(But, why?)

I look around..

It seems so silent yet--

--not the silence of absence,

rather the silence of hushed tones,

suppressed feelings,

hurt yet veiled emotions..

I look closely..

And maybe it’s just me, but I feel--

--better? Maybe, I mean, just a little,

at least...relatively.

Why this sudden change? Suddenly,

I feel so calm.. (I think…)

I can see.

I can see others..

I mean, more ‘special friends’...

It’s not just me--

--there are so many, and they seem to be--

--I suppose, stuck to every person I see.

Some people, seem to have not one,

but two, two special friends..

Actually, some people seem to be, err,--

--I guess, popular…

I wonder, do I just have one?

Or maybe, there are more,

will they join me?

If I try keep walking..

Let’s see..

I quicken my pace,

I try altering it, taking different paths,

I try to fuse the outline of my special friend with others

(You know? By trying to walk close, and skirt buildings and crowds..)

I start glancing around,

trying hard to be discreet..

I don’t want them to know,

that I’m looking.

(can they see? would they know? I’m not sure

exactly..)

It almost seems like they’re onto me..

It seems I have more..

Or at least, I have grown somewhat of a...

...following (?)

They match my pace,

and seem to encase me..

Or rather, encase my outline..

I actually like this, it’s like.. I have friends..

Real friends, only ones I can see.

It’s strange.. Hmm, let me try think about this, or rather,

about them--

--I need a minute.

(seconds later)

Oh.. bad move.

I try to project my voice, make it loud,

unwavering, fearless…

I don't want them to know. (that…

..I know, I made a mistake.)

“Can anyone hear me?”

I hear echoes...

...echoes of laughs, cries, and shrieks.

I can’t shake it.

I can’t shake them.

My mind. My head, rather, feels…

..heavy, faint, light, rejuvenated, and, honestly,

kind of awake...

But… it hurts,

a lot.

I have no cards to play,

No moves.. Where do I even go?

I can’t go home, I think they’d follow me.

Or maybe they are already there, or others may be there,

you know?

Waiting for me..

I thought this was good, I made peace,

these friends, seem to know me.. they know

my thoughts, my feelings, and...

...actually, I think they can even

hear my heartbeat.

I look around, trying hard to soak in

whatever I can see, I don’t want them to take that

away from me..

Can they do that? (I’m not really sure.. )

I want to wonder, how others feel.

Or how they are coping.. You know?

Like other people, like me..

But. I can’t wonder, I’m scared--

--to think.

To have thoughts, as...

...my mind, it’s exposed. Bare.

They are growing stronger, at least I think.

They have this--

--this, power..

It’s captivating, fierce, and rather compelling.

I can’t resist, really…

...maybe if I stick with it,

it’ll get better?

(minutes later)

Open, bare, exposed--

--land is all I see

in the distance…

..I can’t find my home.

Do I have a home? Or, rather, did I?

I dared to wonder:

Where are all the people?

And...err, ‘special friends’?

I see…

...shadows,

(I think?)

But no people, no special friends,

just shadows.

I look up, and...

...I see clouds, but--

--no sky.

Strange.

But..

..I can hear.

(Like, a lot.. And,

actually all at once. Multiple voices..

Maybe the same echoes from before, those--

--laughs, cries, and shrieks)

It seems so distant, yet so close,

to me, you know?

(I mean, they, the shadows, they seem so distant

yet close, to me, physically..)

But, I can’t seem to get close enough,

It’s like they’re special.

Aloof, but somewhat above..me

(?)

They seem organized, like more than, err--

--you know, people?

Like they’re in sync.. Their thoughts and bodies are..

..one.

Dare I think: they are happy (?)

But.. how? So exposed, so bare,

so…. Singular...

(I guess maybe they seem so independently singular,

yet, err--they're... a unit, you know? The way they..

..operate (?))

(hours later)

It dawns on me…

I, too, am one of them.

I look down, I see..

..a dark outline and a stark cast of gray shades, projecting

onto flat gravel. I, too, have been

consumed.