Stream of Consciousness

I would sound like a tin foil hat crazy person. I would be mocked, put in some sort of facility. This, if they even listened to me at all! And who is they?? Where would I even go with any of this information? ‘Yes, this is Grace, 20-year-old college student, I would like to speak with the president. What president you say? Oh, really, any president. Just to let you know the world is going to end in 7 days. Actually, not quite right, humanity is going to end in 7 days. I have no intel on the actual world, but we haven’t exactly been treating it properly so maybe it’s quitting the game too. Oh, where did I get my information you ask? Just woke up with it! That’s right, some Virgin Mary being bestowed with the Jesus is coming over information situation. Yes, yes, 100% certainty. Not on the Jesus part though, I’ve never been religious, although I’m starting to feel like a Heaven would be nice. Alright, I will email you my information and you can sign me in to the psych ward. I’ll be waiting for the van! Thank you!’ Maybe I just drop someone an email... I know it sounds ridiculous. I have been through as many explanations as I can think of and all I’m left with is brain tumour, alien abduction or Inception style idea planting. All exceptionally reasonable of course. Maybe Leonardo DiCaprio did it... I can’t tell anyone. How could I ever? And should I? Would you like to know you are about to die? Everyone is about to die? Would that be something you can handle because my brief personal experience tells me you CAN NOT! These philosophical questions are hurting my brain... I should have paid more attention in philosophy class, now I don’t know how to act... What would one do if they had 7 days to live? What will I do? I guess I want to do things, say goodbyes. If this was some superhero movie, I would be on my way to avoid said calamity but that’s not happening either because I don’t know how we’re dying. We just are. There's no snapping out of this. I should have taken those moody quotes with a nature backdrop more seriously. ‘Do the things you want to do. Tell the people you love you love them.’ Should I just send one of those to everyone I know? It sounds like a quote some girl on Instagram would use to caption a picture of her bikini focused trip to the Maldives, but I guess people find some comfort in those too. They could be appreciated. Perhaps some people less cynical than me would even take the message to heart...

I know what I'll do. I'll hug my mom and my dad and my brother. I'll hug the dog. I will kiss someone, and I will drink and eat well, and I will listen to music, and I'll read a book, and I'll see a play and a movie and I'll hang out with my friends and hear all their stories and get in on their stupid ideas I usually worry will get us killed or arrested, because who cares anymore? I'll lose the cynicism. I'll do things, I'll tell people I love them. I'll appreciate humans and the million lovely things they do while I still can...

I’m not going to say anything, I can’t. I don’t know how to. I don't know anything...

Maybe it's not true. Maybe we'll all live and if we do, I need to see a doctor asap...

Maybe it's in my mind...

Maybe it's only me...

Maybe.