sleep and i are in a toxic relationship

one thing people need to understand is that sleep is a bitch.

she is selfish, and she doesn't quite seem to understand that it takes

two people to make this damn thing work. i mean, only I will be asleep,

but the feeling of sleep wrapping her arms around me makes me feel warm...

three things that keep me up though are the thoughts of dying, reality changing,

and the sheer terror that comes with being alive. stray memories keeping me up until

four in the morning, i must have lost my goddamn mind. scrolling through my phone,

reading old text. i don't know why i saved it, but sometimes i read the last

five words that you sent me: this just isn't working anymore... quiet sighs on a friday night.

some people think there's something strange about staying alone inside

six days and six nights in a row, but i find it comforting. i like the way my bed feels,

especially in the morning when responsibility is just outside and i set my timer for

seven more minutes of sleep, because she loves me in the morning. she loves me most

when i need her the least. she loves to let me play dangerous games with my life at

eight in the morning when i am already thirty minutes late to the office.

fired, they told me. one too many early morning meetings missed. but wasn't it worth the

nine hours we spent tussling all through the night? i don't know...

i just know when the sun goes down, it is sleep that i miss the most.