Eff It All

“Eff this”,

I say.

“Eff it all.”

Then I check my grades.

All F’s,

As I asked for.

"No!"

I say.

"This isn't what I wanted!"

I just...

Wanted a second,

A moment,

A day,

To breathe.

To hold my head out of water.

Now look what I've done.

Would you like me to apologize,

Because I wanted to feel,

Less like a pie crust,

Rolled out,

Thinner and thinner?

Do you really want me to apologize?

"Sorry I didn't do that assignment."

I say.

"I was trying to stay sane."

I say.

"I just wanted to sleep for the first time in a week."

"I promise it won't happen again."

I say.

Do you want me to apologize?

Have you seen the state I'm in?

Aren't I sorry enough?

No?

Well,

Eff this,

Then.

"I'm done."

I say.

"I can't do this anymore."

"Eff it all."

I can't be what you want me to.