It’s for you

Hello!

I know I’m being nosy, but hey, I do have a nose, right?

Ever felt sad without any reason, tears welling up behind your eyes? Ever thought about the worst pick up line to yourself - “Nobody understands me”?

Let me get to the point, have you ever been so lonely, so low in life, so blind that you thought of taking away your life? Yeah, I mean suicide.

Coming from a teenager does that bother you?

I’ve been through it, I just held onto the darkness for a bit too long.. I cried. Yes, I lashed out. I know it hurts to do that to your loved ones. I know it hurts right in the inside, in the core.

At times I got confused, I didn’t want to know anything new, I deliberately cut off all contacts.. Shooed away people who cared for me. I made enemies.. Hell yes, I know how it hurts to have insults thrown on your face when you are least involved in it.

But then I am still here. Self harm, something that I battle even now, I know I am scarred. And I am trying so very hard, I want to be the same person I was before..

I know, I can’t understand what’s going on in your heads, in your lives. But please don’t take your precious life. Whenever I think about it, I start picturing myself in the place of my parents.. Where would they be?

You are angry? Write out your feelings on a piece of paper, crumple it up and set fire to it.. Let it go away. Don’t latch yourself to dark thoughts..

You know what, before I became like this, I used to have a dream.. I was in a duel.. The supporters were cheering for me.. My opponent had no one, completely alone. That gave me a sense of euphoria.

After all this hurt and bad times, I have the same dream, only this time the roles are reversed..

My opponent has got the world cheering for itself.. I have.. Only me. And when I win, I feel more than euphoria.. I feel like a champion.

It’s not necessary to win every single time but it’s damn necessary to have complete faith in yourself. You should know, you are with you, no matter what.

I guess that scares away the beast in us as well..

Have a good time.. Love life. Live life.

Yours truly,

Me!