A Peaceful Transition

Jacob begins tying the rubber band around his arm. He then grabs the syringe beside the bed, and proceeds to shoot up the last of his heroin. Immediately, Jacob begins to lose consciousness. Simultaneously, Lauren begins to shake him but the frame is still blurry. Jacob then realizes he’s overdosing, and starts fighting for his life as he hears bits and pieces of Lauren’s pleas for him to fight harder. Unfortunately, Jacob had shot up in a abandoned crack house all by himself. Lauren was never there. I mean, she may have been with him in thought but not physically. Physically, she was at home awaiting the man she ignored Jacobs phone calls for to only be stood up by this unnamed character. Jacob was committed to somebody that truly didn’t care for him so much so that he was gifted the potential reality of love, as a means of compensation for having to deal with the messed up reality he called daily life. It wasn’t his fault for having been born into a home that was completely revolved around drugs. It was the only life he knew, so when he tried to escape it of course Lauren showing him The tiniest bit of attention meant the world to him. She came to him crying about what bothered her the most, which on bad day was the fact her mother didn’t respond the way she wanted. Then when he had the worst day imaginable, and tried calling her for comfort. The same attention he had given her wasn’t received. Leaving him complacent, to the extent of not wanting to deal with life anymore. Understandable when put into Jacob shoes, but not even fathomable when put into Lauren’s shoes. Especially after seeing the way Jacob viewed things, you would be prone to feel hate for Lauren but can’t. He never meant anything to her, so of course she didn’t hesitate to ignore his calls. She may have confided in Jacob, but confiding in somebody meant two completely different things to the both of them. How could you not place Jacob into nirvana considering the circumstances? Jacob had no understanding of the individual characteristics that make up each and every persons reality. So whenever the delusion of Lauren saving him was inserted into his psyche right as Jacob was dying. Jacob accepted it with ease. Thus entering his own personal reality where he peacefully dies in the arms of the women he loved. His life was so incredibly depressing that the option he chose was honestly the only logical choice he had left. Why would he continue to put himself through this incredible pain of life, when his life wasn't his because of the people that said he was an addict. Considering both of his parents got clean, and decided to start new families excluding every part of their past life including Jacob. It was never Jacobs fault, but he never felt like it wasn’t. When the people that did this to him decided to forget about him, he started to question his very existence. Which he now viewed as meaningless, resulting in the forgiveness of such an act deemed atrocious by society. How could you honestly banish someone like Jacob to “hell” based purely off of a decision he felt was his only option. He made that decision within an instant, where there is no time for reflection. Yet, is frowned upon because nobody could understand why Jacob would be pushed to these measures because their life is so effortlessly spent obsessing over themselves. As Jacob transitions into death, a smirk can be seen changing into a slight smile. Then nothing, as an eerie silence begins to take control of the abandoned house. I suddenly wake up from this grim dream and as I slowly gain consciousness, the only image I see for the first couple of seconds is the depressing image of Jacob’s smile. All though it was a sad and lonely way to go, I couldn’t help but sympathize with this smile. Jacob’s life being as it was, leaving this brief smile to be the only happiness he was able to find. Finding comfort in knowing that he no longer had to endure another day of it. This seemed to be the perfect ending, lacking only in time. Being that his discovery of happiness and it’s warm embrace was short lived to say the least. His final moments weren't spent at a picturesque location, nor were they comforted by the presence of family members but if you were to ask me. I would tell you that in that specific moment, Jacob saw something so beautiful it transcended location. Making an abandoned drug house into an ideal resting place for someone such as himself, and calling my idea of beauty into question entirely. As it should for all those who still can't fully understand the beauty of death in an abandoned dope house.