Why Bears Hybernate

I am about to tell you a story that has been passed down through generations and generations. This is the story of a very special bear who fouded a very special annual tradition for bears. It all starts a long, long time ago, in the second winter on Earth. That’s right. I’m taking a REALLY long time ago.

Bear had a problem. Actually, Bear had a lot of problems. For starters, he was a bear named Bear. This might have seemed like a good idea at first, but every bear was named Bear. No joke. Nobody knew which Bear was what Bear and who’s Bear liked that Bear and Bear was mad because Bear’s girlfriend went of a date with Bear and Bear forgot about Bear’s birthday and…. well, you get the point.

But the problem Bear was having right now was that it was winter. And what Bear had figured out about winter is that none of the plants he liked to eat decided to stick around during winter. Which left Bear with no food. Which was not good.

So Bear was walking around one day and trying to figure out which Bear had kissed Bear and why Bear would think it was him when he saw this hole in the snow. He leaned over his big head and poked in his big nose, and then he smelled something. Something that smelled good. Something that made him think, whoa, why did I ever eat blueberries? Something that made him think, forget about Bear. I’m going to marry that smell. Something that made him decide, whether it was a good idea or not, I will get to the source of that smell at all costs.

So he waltzed himself right into the that hole where and adorable, fuzzy little creature sat knitting a sock. “Well, hi there, Bear. How may I help you?” he said.

“You look delicious,” Bear said.

“Excuse me?” said the fuzzy little creature. And well, let’s just say that’s the last thing he ever said.

Bear didn’t think it was possible, but the fuzzy little creature had tasted even better than it smelled. So he made himself a promise. He would hunt down every last one of those fuzzy little creatures he could find, and make them his dinner.

By the next September, nobody confused Bear with the other Bears anymore. Everyone knew that Bear. The one who went savage and ate all his neighbors.

Some believed that Bear had been driven crazy by hunger and wasn’t thinking straight. Some belived that that he had only been seeking attention and wanted a way to stand out against the other Bears. Some even believed that he had been possesed by an evil sprit who had forced him to eat the tiny woodland creatures. But mostly they believed that if they wanted to stay alive this winter, they better stay away, and think of something. Fast.

Some of the tiny woodland creatures had decided to host a meeting to discuss ideas about what-on-earth-should-we-do-what-if-Bear-tries-to-eat-us. It was called the what-on-earth-should-we-do-what-if-Bear-tries-to-eat-us meeting. They had been there a long time, and bless their little hearts they were trying to come up with some ideas, but they weren’t very good. Like one…. well, just let me show you.

“Ooh ooh ooh pick me pick me pick me!” a very annoying outgoing hare named Hare said.

“What now, Hare?” said a very tired hedgehog named Hedgehog.

“Okay okay okay so listen to this. What if we just run over to Bear really fast and scream, ‘DON’T EAT US!’ and show him how big and bad we are and be all like, ‘Come at me bro I can handle you!’ and he’ll be like, ‘Whoa, dude, sorry I ever messed with you!’ And he’ll get so scared he’ll pee his pants and won’t come anywhere close to us for the rest of the winter! HAHA! I’m a GENIUS! Come on guys, do you think it’ll work?”

A very sarcastic turtle named Turtle mumbled, “Who invited him?” and looked at Hare and said, “Do you think its gonna work?”

“Well I did, until you gave me that bad attitude, Mr. Grouchypants,” Hare said.”So, let’s hear it. What’s YOUR genius idea? Or are you to SLOW to figure one out? Hmm?”

“Oh, come here, you little-”

“I’ve got an idea,” a very polite mouse named mouse piped up. “Why don’t we try baking him some cookies? Then mabe he’ll realize we’re friendly and aren’t a threat. He also won’t get as hungry, so then he won’t have to-” She shuddered, “-eat us.”

“BEAR DOES NOT DESERVE ANY COOKIES!” Screamed Hare. “HE ATE ALL THE TINY WOODLAND CREATURES. HE-”

“Hare!” said Hedgehog.

“ALMOST ATE ME AND NOW I-”

“HARE!” screamed Hedgehog.

“Sorry,” said Hare.

“And I suppose you have a better idea?” Asked Turtle.

“Well, since when do yu listen to my ideas?” he responded. “I’ve only got one left- to try and trick him somehow.”

“Oh, Hare!” said Mouse. “That’s a really good idea!”

“It is?” said Hare. He wasn’t used to having good ideas.

“Yes! Alright. So here’s what we’ll do. Go out and dig a hole and make it look like someone’s staying there for the winter. Bear will find these holes and think one of us is in there, but really, we’ll be safe somewhere else in another hole. We can cover it up with leaves to make it look like nothing’s there. He won’t find us, only our fake holes,” Mouse finished and looked around at the circle of staring faces. She turned red and stared at the ground. She was normally very shy and didn’t like all the attention.

“Wow,” Turtle finally said. “That’s and really good idea, Mouse.”

“Yeah,” everyone else said.

“Well, come on then, you guys!” Hare said

“He’s right,” Hedgehog said. “Those holes won’t dig themselves.”

By the first snowfall, everyone had gone safely into their hidden holes and settled all nice and cozy in for the winter. Bear, on the other hand, was hungry. And he hadn’t quite forgotten the delicious taste of a squirrell or the unique fluffyness of a rabbit. So he decided to go on a little hunt.

The first hole he came to was marked HARE. Mmmmm, thought Bear. He remembered hares from last year. So, excitedly, he stuck his big head inside the hole and looked around. But no one was in there.

Probably just went for a little walk, Bear thought. He’ll be back soon.

But no one was in the next hole either. Or the next. Or the next. All winter Bear stumbled around, calling, “Food! Food, where are you?” Until one day he just fell with a thunk! into the snow and never got back up again.

So that is why, every winter, to this day, every bear around the world curls up in shame and sadly thinks about their foolish ancestor.

The End!