How atheists are born

Memories constantly fill my mind. He haunts me. They haunt me. I haunt myself.

That time he threw me across the room, I had a miscarriage. I cursed God, and swore he didn't exist. I said, "if God exists, then he will kill this man." I really had hopes that God existed. Perhaps because I wished my ex husband dead so bad. Well, needless to say he's still alive.

I believed in a God who loved people and helped them through all difficulties. A God of grace, mercy and compassion. I believed he would transform my abusive husband into a kind, loving and gentle man.

I fasted for 7 days straight. No food. Only water. I prayed daily, through out the day, begging... BEGGING God to miraculously change that man.

As it turns out, it changed me. It transformed me into a different woman. A woman no longer dependent on my husband, no longer dependent on God. It changed me into an Atheist.